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Extract from Sleepguide for Baby & Toddlers, by Erica Neser
Toddlers are famous for stalling bedtime. The following tips are from Erica Neser's Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers (Protea Books, 2006):
Avoid letting toddlers watch television for the hour preceding bedtime. Even children's programs (especially cartoons) can be incredibly over stimulating.
When toddlers become over-tired, unlike adults, they can become hyperactive and bounce off the walls due to secretion of adrenaline. Catch him and get him down before that happens!
Don't let your toddler decide when he should go to bed. You decide.
One of the main causes of sleep problems with toddlers is that bedtime is too late.
Toddlers like to stall the whole going-to-bed process. They can think up endless excuses to come out of their room again.
Be firm and stick to your bedtime routine, which is of the utmost importance at this age. Decide how many stories you will read, how many lullabies you will sing, and don't be wheedled into doing more.
Rub his back when he is in bed. Tell a story and illustrate it on his back. This is a wonderfully calming bedtime ritual.
Dr Marc Weissbluth ( Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child ) suggests that you let your toddler repeat after you the following sleep rules every night: At bedtime we …
o stay in bed …
o close our eyes …
o stay very quiet …
o and go to sleep!
Falling asleep:
Remember: being overtired can lead to neediness.
For a toddler who wants you to lie with him until he is asleep (which seems to be the most common demand): Make a compromise – tell him that you would like to lie with him, but you can't (think of a good reason), so you will sit with him and hold his hand. If he makes a big fuss, leave. You can offer to come back again on your terms.
You can “negotiate” with a toddler who has a fair command of language by saying, “Would you like Mummy to sit with you/sing a song/tell a story? OK, if you lie down and close your eyes, I'll do that.” If he gets up or starts talking again, repeat what you expect of her. If he doesn't keep his side of the bargain, leave for a minute or so, then come back and repeat what you want him to do.
Calling from outside his room is often enough to reassure him.
If he keeps coming out of the room, put up a safety gate. It's less scary for a toddler than a closed door.
Alternatively (for a bigger child) you can tell him that the door will stay open as long as he stays in bed. If he gets up, the door will be closed. (Leave a night-light on and leave his favourite fluffy toy with him.) Open the door after one minute.
The “Disappearing Chair” method can work well with toddlers. On the first night sit on his bed with him. The next night, sit at the foot of his bed. After that, on a chair at the foot of the bed. Move the chair a little closer to the door every night. I know it sounds funny, but it can work quite well! While you are sitting there, be pre-occupied with a book or knitting (as one book suggests!) and don't be drawn into conversations with your child. Tell him that it's impossible to fall asleep while talking! If he keeps talking, leave (but offer to come back if he'll stop talking).
Popping in and out works well with toddlers. You can tell him that you have to go and do something, but will be back in a minute. Tell him to wait quietly until you come back. You can repeat this trick a few times. Sometimes toddlers fall asleep while waiting for you.
Wishing you a good night!
For more information and baby-friendly solutions to sleep problems, please read Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers by Erica Neser (available in bookstores or from www.babysleep.co.za).
