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Starting play or preschool is probably one of the biggest milestones your child (and you!) will take – an emotional time for mom and dad, and a big change for your little one. It is after all their first step into the big wide world - and independence! Naturally as a parent you may be anxious about choosing the right school for your child, and it is also your duty to prepare your child for what is coming, and get them excited rather than apprehensive about Mom leaving them behind…
Choosing a Pre-School
Most preschools often mornings only, with only some offering aftercare, and children attend anything from once a week to five days a week. You will need to decide on a preschool suiting your time-table as well as choosing a routine that will fit your child. Many parents opt to start their children off in smaller steps, maybe one or two days a week, building this up to four or even five. You will need to check with your school if it is an option to increase attendance days, as many schools are booked in advance. It is best to do your homework early on (preferably early the year before they start), and ask questions about the school, activities, safety, and of course cost. It is also a good idea to pop in unannounced with your child, to see how the teachers relate to the children, if the children seem content, whether activities look age appropriate and the general appearance of the school. Don't be shy to ask for references. Speak to other parents who have children at the school. And most importantly, go with your instincts. If something just doesn't feel right, keep looking. After all, you know your child best.
Helping your child to cope
Starting school is a huge leap for children – exciting for most but scary for some. Here are some ideas to help your child prepare for their first day:
- Spend time talking before they start about what to expect. Tell them all the exciting things they are going to be doing, introduce them beforehand to their teacher, and tell them what their routine will be like. If possible visit the school and show them where to find everything. Small children thrive on predictability – if they know what's coming they will settle in easier.
- Don't brush off your child's feelings of concern. Explain that it is normal to be a little scared, but that they will soon make lots of friends. Make sure that they understand that you will not be with them at school, but stress that you will be there to fetch them after naptime / lunchtime / story-time or whatever the routine. Tell them also that if they are sick at school the teacher will phone you to come and fetch them. Answer any questions honestly but with reassurance.
- Help your child to be involved in their morning routine by allowing them to choose their outfit (limit to two choices to speed things up!), let them help make breakfast and choose what they would like for lunch (remember chips and sweets aren't food!).
- For very anxious children consider packing a keepsake from home in their bags, such as a favourite teddy or a small token from Mom.
- When they have started school, arrange for play dates with fellow classmates. Once your child has made friends getting them home will be the problem, not going to school!
- Listen to your child. Talk about the day, what they have experienced and how they are feeling. Act on feelings of concern and trust your instincts. If your child has seemed happy at school and suddenly finds every reason in the book not to go, dig deeper to try and find out what the problem is.
If your child refuses for you to leave, ask the teacher for assistance and find an activity that you know your child enjoys. The teacher would have seen it all before and might be able to offer assistance. You can always phone later to make sure your child is okay. Remember that starting school is a huge transition, and some children might have trouble sleeping or get hysterical on the way or even lash out – this is normal as they take time to adjust. Acknowledge their feelings and constantly reassure them, and before you know it you will wonder where the time went as you prepare them for their first day of highschool!
