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1. Attention
Attention is as important to children as food. And if they are not getting attention when they are well-behaved, they will misbehave to get your attention
What to do:
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Identify when it is attention-seeking behaviour, Your own feelings are a good clue. Often when you are feeling irritated by the child's behaviour, the child is seeking attention. |
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Don't only pay attention to them when they are misbehaving. Pay attention when they are well-behaved. |
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Find things for them to prevent boredom. |
2. Tiredness
Toddlers, like grownups tend to have a decreased concentration span when they are tired. They also tend to cry more, complain more, be more resistant and to make more mistakes.
What to do:
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Be empathetic. |
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Convey understanding and help them to understand themselves. Say to the toddler something like: 'You're not handling this very well because you are tired'. |
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You may need to set a limit... 'So I think we'd better go home now'. |
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Look into their bedtimes and naptimes and make adjustments where necessary. |
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Keep waking times, naptimes and bedtimes as regular as possible. |
3. Frustration
Toddlers experience a lot of frustration related to things they cannot do, cannot have and also by changes their body is going through (e.g. teething).
What to do:
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Be empathetic. |
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Convey understanding by saying e.g. 'I can see that you're frustrated because you can't play with the toy'. |
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You may need to set limits... 'but we don't hit others'. |
4. Ignorance
A lot of the senseless things that toddlers do (e.g. cooking your favourite CD in the microwave) is because they lack common sense and also because they are not yet able to predict the consequences of their actions.
What to do:
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Have realistic expectations of your toddler. |
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Be empathetic. |
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Be watchful so that you can stop them but accept the fact that you cannot watch your child 24 hours a day. |
5. Challenge / Power
It is normal for your toddler to constantly challenge limits and whilst they will probably protest against limit-setting, they gain security from knowing that the parent / caregiver is in charge.
What to do:
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Identify when it is a challenge or power struggle. Your own feelings are a good clue. Often when you are feeling angry, frustrated or out of control, a challenge or power struggle is occuring. |
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Accept that your toddler will test limits and will protest when you enforce limits. |
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Believe that you have a right and responsibility to be in charge and to set limits. |
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Calm down. This helps the toddler to calm down. When you lose control, the power struggle tends to escalate. |
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Allow choices where appropriate. Two choices are usually best. |
Thanks to The Parent Centre for permission to use this article. The Parent Centre can be contact on 021-762 0116 or info@theparentcentre.co.za.
