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Hands up who’s ever tried sleep training! A couple of hands… well done for persevering and good on you! Okay now hands up who’s ever really wanted to try sleep training, really needs to try sleep training, and is going to try sleep training… just as soon as he’s had his next set of shots, when we get back from holiday, when she’s a bit bigger, when this next tooth is through… Well ladies, I am proud to say that I fit into both categories. I have tried – successfully… for a while… and well quite frankly need to try again. Megan is eighteen months now and can’t get through the night without at least two bottles of formula – I know she doesn’t need them and uses them as a comfort help-me-get-back-to-sleep aid, but we all know how much easier it is to give in rather than deal with the inevitable wailing that comes with “being strong”.
I remember so clearly when Megan was about six month’s old and she was yet to have a good night – defined as a night of any sleep more than two hours long. She was never a good sleeper and I broke all the rules in the book – picking her up, rocking her, walking her – poor hubby even drove the city stupid at eleven at night trying to get her down. Well to put it simply I became her human dummy, she refused even a bottle, so every two hours through the night she would yell hysterically, roughly translated to “Mommeeee, I can’t get back to sleep! I need a boooooob!”. I was lamenting all these facts one day to my baby-group teacher, asking for any advice that I hadn’t yet tried, when another mom piped up “Oh, I don’t believe in sleep training. It just seems so (pause) unnatural.” This from someone who’s first born had slept through from six weeks. Well you can imagine all the nasty remarks jumbling around in my head just waiting to burst forth from my acid tongue, but instead I smiled sweetly and said “You’re so lucky he sleeps through” meanwhile thinking “Just wait for number two Lady… then you can tell me how you get through your day surviving on good humour!”
Did you know that sleep deprivation was considered a form of torture in
ancient China? We read the books, the magazine articles, and hear our
friends warn us to “get all the sleep you can!” or “say
goodbye to sleep!”, but still nothing prepares us for just exactly
how tired – and crabby – we will feel at six in the morning
having been up every two hours, when baby decides it’s morning and
requires you to be at marathon running energy levels to keep her entertained.
And how many of you have put the milk back in the cupboard or thrown used
disposable nappies in the washbox? Porridge brain is nothing but a symptom
of the brain atrophy that comes with sleep deprivation!
Sleep deprivation has a way of uniting us tired moms. I remember a new member arriving at my baby-group and quietly resenting her intrusion into our private space – until I overheard her saying how at four in the morning when she’s walking the passages with her son, she thinks of all the other moms up with her at this unearthly hour, needing the comfort that she is not alone in the battle for sleep. She has remained a close friend to this day… (you know who you are!)
But no discussion on sleep would be complete without mentioning Mommy’s little helper… yes you all know what I am talking about. That little bottle kept on the bathroom counter, syringe ready, with the magic purple (or green for some of you) stuff inside. This is kept only for real emergencies of course – we don’t want to end up with regular cries of “Mommeeee! I can’t sleep! Bring me my purple juice!” Yes we all feel a twinge of guilt the first time we have to resort to this, but to me it’s a much better option to help with colic pain and teething sleeplessness than the schedule 5 drug the experts were trying to push on me… it’s like comparing rescue remedy with pethadine! And believe you me the guilt at leaving your baby to scream while standing outside her door is far, far worse – yet in some instances it’s the only way (I know! I’ve been there!) So I must say that sleep training does work – you just have to be very strong and remind yourself who is in control (well okay at least pretend – well all know who really rules the roost!). But for now, well I love my newly acquired status of “in the land of the living” and will keep leaving Megan’s midnight bottles in her cot… I will deal with it when number two arrives – which won’t be for a long, long time. In the meantime, can I offer anyone some coffee… or better yet make that a double espresso!
© Sally Hetherington .
