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Aah the good old toddler tantrum. I remember writing on this topic in October last year when Megan was about to turn two. Of course then I fully expected her to have regular tantrums, heading into the terrible two's and all, and of course I also (stupidly) expected them to disappear by age three… hahaha. No such luck. They only increased in intensity and volume as she got more strong-willed with age! So a year has come and gone… and nothing has changed! I remember one of my friends joking about the Terrible Two's, the Tortuous Threes and the “very naughty word” Fours (use your imagination here – this is a PG rated newsletter!). All I can say is please tell me it gets better at five – only two years to go… by which stage Caitlin will be starting the age two tantrums. Does it ever end.
One thing I have discovered is that Megan is not ready to give up her midday nap… as much as she would like to think otherwise. She fights me on this issue every single day – “no Mommy I'm not tired, I didn't yawn yet” and then of course she plays majorly for time… “another story, now I need my sippy cup, no it's too dark – open the door, I want that teddy too, I need a jersey, I'm too hot, I'm too cold, I want to say my prayers again, no you didn't close your eyes properly”, etc. etc. etc. I think sometimes I am too patient with her and give her what she wants – anything for the sake of peace when you have a three month old asleep in the next room! I know I need to be firm – one story, one prayer, goodnight, no more! Easier said than done – but otherwise she is going to push and push and push, as toddlers tend to do!
On Saturday Megan was invited to a birthday party, and stupidly we decided to do our grocery shopping on the same day… at the end of the month… at lunchtime. Well actually we didn't plan on going at lunchtime, but by the time we had baby fed, burped and changed it was getting later and later, and I seriously needed groceries and hubby actually agreed to go with (lots of persuasion on my part!) so off we went. Of course the store was packed to the brim and it was past two by the time we got home – which gave me just enough time to have a very quick bite before heading off with both girls to the party at three… minus Megan's midday nap. Stupid stupid stupid (picture me smacking myself on the head here…).
I guess you are imagining all sorts of party calamities happening here… but surprisingly she was as good as gold at the party (she always is in front of other people)… but coming home past five was another story altogether. The wheels came off in a big way then! She was of course tired and hungry, but completely one hundred percent helpless and uncooperative – not a good combination at the best of times, but throw in one sleep deprived mommy and one needy baby and you have a recipe for an evening of great family entertainment! I think I should write my own sitcom – or would that be a reality series rather… “Coming to your screen this summer… a tired mommy takes on her family, toddler tries to dominate the world, and one screaming baby. The Mommy Wars … starts November 10 th , only on Channel Reality, where real people live!”
But I digress… back to Saturday evening… now one thing I don't get in Toddlerdom, is that usually, she wants to do everything , and I mean everything herself. Put her clothes on, do up her buttons, feed herself, put her shoes on, pack her bag, do up her zip, climb in the bath, you name it, her favourite refrain being “No I do it” in a whiny voice. And you dare not do it for her, because then she purposefully undoes whatever you have done, just so that she can do it herself. But when she's tired, she suddenly loses all capacity for self capability… even the ability to tell me what she wants is suddenly erased from her little being. She suddenly starts crashing her tricycle into things (on purpose and then crying “I want to ride over there” – sure Meg, just let Mommy move the wall for you quick) or she drops her Mr Puppy and can't reach to pick him when he's on the floor at her feet. I suddenly find myself saying things my mom said to me many times over, such as “did your arms drop off in the night?” or “if you want it, fetch it yourself!” – things I swore I would never ever say to my children!
So of course Saturday night was a war of wills – I just wanted to get her fed and bathed so that she could get to bed, and there she was a puddle of apathy, crying and moaning, but never once actually telling me what she wanted. A most frustrating time for any parent, when your child clearly has a need but is completely incapable of or unwilling to tell you what that need is! Well eventually after a supper consisting of two peas and a carrot I unceremoniously dumped Megan on her bed, clothes and all, covered her up to the soundtrack of “I want my jaaaaaaarmis, I want my jaaaaaaarmisssssss sob sob sob”, so covers back, pj's out, pj's on, blankets over, tuck rin, off to sleep… “Say prayers, say praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayers”, okay all four prayers at record speed, Amen, Goodnight Meggie. “Bottle bottle bottaaaaaaaal” Sorry Megan, remember Father Christmas took your bottles (he made an early stop to our house) “I want my daaaaaaddeeeeeeeeee”… does it ever end. Anyway by the time hubby came to the room she was already passed out, and of course we headed to the kitchen to open that much needed bottle of wine with a sigh of relief… (should I feel guilty for feeling relieved that my daughter is asleep?) and the promise that she would never ever skip her midday nap again…
Until Sunday that is… do we never learn?
© Sally Hetherington .
