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NEWSLETTER - AUGUST 2009
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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES
CONTENTS
Ed's Note
Because I said so… your dose of daily living from the editor
Featured Article: Top Ten Sleep Tips!, by Megan Faure
Ask the Experts: Baby & Toddler Expert Erica Neser answers a question about milestones
Giveaway: Baby Sense seminar tickets and A Mother's Sense of Calm books, Baba Indaba tickets
Quick Coffee Break: Culinary Terror!
Noticeboard: Your space
In Closing...
| Hi all! Wow can you believe that my littlest monkey just turned 3? Time has gone by so fast. I officially don't have babies anymore - and quite frankly I'm more than happy to keep it that way! I am loving my two girls so much - Megan is full of the inspiration that only a five year old and bring, and Caty is just the cutest little thing, full of the funniest words and sayings! Just the other day we took her up the cable car for the first time, now every time we drive anywhere near the mountain she points up and shouts "Mommy! I can see the Table Car!". Oh and asking me the other day to please leave the "skin" on her bread because she likes it! So cute! On that note have your kids ever said something so funny you had to share it? Send them to me and if I get enough I'll compile them for another issue!Anyway what with holidays and birthdays things have been very busy in my household, and I hope you will forgive me for rehashing an old column and article - I have so much to get through in the next week or so it's quite a challenge! I promise to try be inspired for the next issue - however I am always on the lookout for funny contributions so if the urge takes you get typing and send me your own ramblings on being a mom! |  Megan and an exhausted Caty after her party! |
And finally don't forget that you can find us on Facebook! Click on the image below!
Because I said so… and baby makes 3,4...5?
Someone sent me a great email the other day about the order of kids, and how things change as you get through each one. I have only one so far and already can relate to a lot of what the email said – I don't think it only applies to the amount of children you have, but also how long you have had them. It went something like this…
Child number one. You plan your dates, make sure hubby gets home early at the right time, and get things started. Before long you think you are pregnant, you hope with all hopes. You take the home test, it's positive! You rush out to every pharmacy within a five mile radius and buy a whole lot more, just to be sure. Then you go for the blood test – yes you are definitely pregnant – so you book an appointment with the gynae, and wait for full confirmation and the first twelve weeks before you tell anyone, just bursting with excitement struggling to keep it to yourself.
You spend hours paging through every baby book and magazine you can lay your hands on, speak to everyone you know who has had a baby, discuss birthing options, attend antenatal classes, you name it, you will do it. Then there are the maternity clothes – a whole new adventure. Traditional dungarees, elasticated pants, expandable jeans, and one cute Marion & Lindie number for special occasions, not to mention maternity bras and supportive panties. You can't wait for your bump to show and to start feeling the first stirrings of baby kicking, you just want the whole world to know, and spend your life browsing the baby section of Woollies, washing and rewashing the tiniest little outfits, setting up the nursery, getting everything organised. Then the big day arrives, you go gung-ho ready to take the pain, determined to truly be one with your baby, bonding as only a woman can to mother earth. And at last you are a family, baby lovingly nurtured at your breast, ready to go home to the magazine style nursery to start the journey ahead of you. And don't forget to have the dummy sterilise solution handy for when it accidentally falls on the ground.
Child Number two. Somehow it happens that you forget the sleepless nights, the screaming, the exhaustion… and you decide to start on round two. You sort of take it as it comes, hoping that it won't take long, that when the time is right it will happen. And then… hmm you aren't feeling yourself, a bit bloated, tummy queasy… You take a home test, and yes, again you are pregnant. Well you know now that those tests are pretty accurate, so you book that gynae appointment, dreading the inevitable prodding and probing. You sort of mention in passing to your baby group friends, oh, I'm pregnant again, and of course there are hugs and kisses all around.
You might pick up some of your baby books again, but soon realise that those baby magazines run in nine month cycles and you have read it all before. Plus now you have hands on, real life experience, you know what you are doing. You dig out those old maternity clothes, borrow some from a friend, and you are all set to go. Toddler gets moved into a bed to make space for the new baby, old baby clothes get hauled out, throw out very stained ones, wash reusable ones, and buy one or two new things. You enjoy the first stirrings of movement in your belly, but you are not looking forward to the discomfort that you know you are headed towards… swollen ankles, aching back, heartburn… And then the actual birth comes along, a quick ‘yes please' to the pethadine drip, not too fazed about a Caesar… You will give the breastfeeding a try, hope for the best, but bottles are always an option. When baby comes home you get the routine started as soon as possible, and a little crying never hurt anyone – at least this time it's only the baby crying, and not you. Oh and tap water is just as good as dummy sterilising solution...
Child number three. Running around after two children leaves you pretty much exhausted all the time, so you don't even notice that you are a little more tired than usual. Then you start depositing the morning's Frosted Flakes into the toilet (did you really think that after two kids you would have time to actually make toast and tea?), and your waistline starts thickening. And you say to yourself ‘here we go again…' and try to think back to when you actually found the energy to do the act that got you to this point… again. You send out a group email announcing the imminent arrival, but most of your friends are too busy with their own kids to reply, offering their congrats when they pass you in the frozen food aisle at Pick n Pay.
You have already given away all your maternity clothes, and anyway they wouldn't fit anymore – gone are the days of a cute preggie tum peaking out from above well toned hips and behind with a pert cleavage showing discretely higher up. Hubby's tracksuit pants will do just fine thank you. Once again out comes the hand-me-downs, does it really matter if there are butternut stains on the babygro? It's just going to get puked on so what's the difference? And can a boy sleep in his sister's pink sleeping bag? You are too busy fetching, carrying, bending, picking up, etc. etc. etc. to even notice the movement inside until you feel a foot wedged up under your ribcage, and by then you just want this baby out so that you can touch your knees again – forget toes, those were out of reach years ago. Birth options are once again discussed, and you happily book a Caesar on a day convenient for all parties concerned. You farm the kids off to your in-laws, book in the night before to enjoy a catered meal – hey anything you don't have to cook yourself and you can serve without tomato sauce is luxury, even if it is served in a hospital bed! You hope you remembered to run the bottles through the dishwasher – breastfeeding is for the birds! And so baby comes home, and your little family oohs and aahs over their new baby brother, but soon the novelty wears off and arguments abound. You hardly hear the new baby crying anymore what with the shouts of ‘Mommmmeeee, Jenna's got my Barrrbieeeee” and the “but I had it fiiiirrsssst” drowning out any sounds in the background. And wiping his dummy on yesterday's shirt should be okay, right?
Child number four. Are you completely insane? Have you not yet learnt? But you wouldn't change it for the world. None of us would. Children are what makes life. Period. And forget dummies – his thumb will have to do.
I leave you with this lovely poem sent in by one of our reader's. I have condensed it, but you can email me if you want to read the full version...
To my child...
Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that I have been given the greatest gift ever given.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will pray for you, and ask for nothing, except one more day…
Top Ten Sleep Tips
by Megan Faure
Helping your baby to sleep through the night is a goal for most parents. Sleep disruption is so distressing for most mothers that the sooner your baby sleeps through the night, the better. Meg Faure, co-author of Baby Sense summarises the top 10 tips to help your baby sleep through the night. The tips are in no particular order but by implementing them all you should be in for a better nights sleep within a week.
1. Safety
Put your baby on his side or back to sleep on a firm mattress without any pillows or duvets to limit the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome / Cot Death).
2. Sleep environment
For good sleep habits try having your baby in his own room (if possible) by three months, as you will both have more rested sleep in your own rooms. Make sure the room can be darkened for day sleeps and morning lie-ins by putting block out lining on the curtains or blinds. Use soft linen in the cot and for cool nights, warm the room up a little, without over heating your baby. For the slightly older baby (after 4 months) use a sleeping bag to keep your baby warm to prevent the classic 4am night waking due to kicking all the blankets off.
3. Under three months
If your baby is very colicky in the evenings, delaying bedtime to late due to fussing and crying, you should try to limit handling after 4pm. Swaddle your baby to help calm them and to limit night wakings due to uncontrolled body jerks.
4. Bedtime routine
Have a consistent time for bed with a predictable routine leading up to bedtime. Between six and seven in the evening is an appropriate time for babies and toddlers. Start the evening routine with a soothing warm bath followed by a calming massage (for babies not suffering from colic – colicky babies do better having the massage in the morning). After bath, don’t leave your baby’s dimmed room and keep all interactions in the room calming with less handling and stimulation.
5. Evening feed
Feed your baby as much as he will take before bedtime. If your breast milk supply seems low in the evenings, offer your baby a supplementary or top-up feed of expressed breast milk or formula milk before bed.
6. Put your baby to bed awake
Rouse your baby after the last feed so that he has to fall asleep without the aid or props such as a bottle or breast. The way in which your baby falls asleep in the evening will be what he expects in the middle of the night, i.e. bottle, breast, dummy, rocking, etc...
7. Handling fussing at bedtime
After three months, expect a little fussing as your baby settles himself to sleep. To manage this, without developing habits, leave your baby in his cot but sit with him, with your hand on him and encourage him to fall asleep after a little fussing.
8. Night feeds
Never wake your baby at night for a feed, unless your paediatrician has instructed you to do so because your baby is ill or very under weight. Wait for your baby to signal that he is hungry at night.
9. Calm night feeds
Keep the middle of the night feeds strictly business affairs – with no stimulation: keep the room dark, using a passage light to see for feeds. Don’t change your baby’s nappy at night feeds unless it is soiled or your baby has wet through the nappy. Limit the time for burping, your baby will settle best after a night feed if he is resettled quickly.
10. Sleep training
Only sleep train your baby after six months and then only after ruling out all other causes for night wakings. To sleep train your baby:
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Give him the opportunity to self calm by not responding immediately when he cries at night |
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Respond once your baby is really crying or within 5 minutes |
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Do not lift your baby from the cot, rather sit with him and encourage him to self calm |
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As hard as it is, sit with your baby for as long as it takes for him to resettle. In this way your baby does not feel abandoned but gets the message that you are there but he must go to sleep. |
By Megan Faure, co-author of Baby Sense. Reproduced with permission from the Baby Sense website, www.babysense.co.za.
© Megan Faure. For more information on the Baby Sense book and other products, see www.babysense.co.za.
Ask the Experts: Help with a toddler who is not yet walking
Q: A reader writes:
I have an 18-month old son and I'm very concerned because he cannot yet walk. He can stand however but doesn't want to walk. Is this normal at his age? What do you suggest I do?
A: Erica Neser, Baby & Toddler expert, Replies:
Here are the ranges for some baby milestones: Sitting without support: 3,75 to 9,5 months Standing with assistance: 4,5 to 12 months Hands & knees crawling: 5 to 14 months Walking with assistance: 6 to 14,5 months Standing alone: 7 to 17 months Walking alone: 8 to 18 months (From: Core Curriculum for Lactation Consultant Practice, ILCA, 2008) So you can see they are quite 'wide' and your little one is still just inside the range. Often babies will be able to stand alone, but crawling will still be faster and therefore their preferred mode of transport. Sometimes they just need to be shown that walking can be as fast, by holding one or both their hands and encouraging them to walk every time (this is quite exhausting!). I had to do that with my 3rd baby at 15 months. It might also be wise to take your little one to your pediatrician or GP, and he/she may refer you to an occupational therapist if necessary. OT's usually help by giving you specific exercises to do with your baby at home, depending on the reason why he is not walking yet. And remember if you little one can take a few steps by himself, he CAN walk, even if he doesn't want to do it often! Hope this helps.
Email your questions to sally@mumstheword.co.za.
Baby Sense seminar tickets
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Want to know how you can add to your baby's development? If yes then don't miss the Johnsons Baby Sense Seminars 2009. Launching this year is the Womb to World seminar - centered around sensible preparation parenting and takes place in August and September 2009. These seminars will cover a range of topics pertinent to pregnancy and early childhood. These include: a healthy pregnancy & diet, your baby's first 6 six weeks, birthing options, feeding, sleep solutions, your baby's health and how to have a calm baby and contained toddler. |
Booking essential. Contact Nolitha on 086 111 4891 or email seminars@babysense.co.za to book in Port Elizabeth (29th August), Cape Town (5th September), Johannesburg (19th September) or Durban (26th September).
We have two tickets per region for the Pregnancy seminar (afternoon) to give away. To enter send ALL your details to sally@mumstheword.co.za with Baby Sense Seminar +Region (state your region preference) in the subject line before 18 August 2009.
Mother's Sense of Calm books
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A stunning gift book from Baby Sense filled with Calming tips and beautiful photographs. This book is compiled by Baby Sense founder Megan Faure but is essentially written by mums, who offer their own first hand advice on calming their babies, using whatever sense to sooth their babies. I have always thought that mums know best so it's great to have a book out there using real tried and tested ways of calming your baby. This is a perfect gift for a mother to be. Click here to buy it directly from Baby Sense. We have four copies of the book to give away. To enter send ALL your details to sally@mumstheword.co.za with CALM in the subject line before 30 August 2009. |
Baba Indaba tickets
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It's Baba Indaba time again! At Baba Indaba you will find everything from prams and baby joggers to vitamin supplements and vaccinations; from toddler music and nursery furniture; from nutritional and medical products to pool safety and video cameras. In fact everyone with an interest in babies, children and parenting will find something new and exciting at Baba Indaba. You will view and experience everything that you could possibly want for bumps, babies and toddlers; all under one roof. For more info see www.babaindaba.co.za.
We have five tickets for the Cape Town Baba Indaba happening on the 8th - 10th of August 2009 at the CTICC. To enter send ALL your details to sally@mumstheword.co.za with Baba Indaba in the subject line before 6th August 2009. |
Want me to review your product? Contact mailto:sally@mumstheword.co.za.
Quick Coffee Break: Culinary Terror!
My brother sent this on to me and for those of us with fussy eaters I think it's genius - gross yes, but genius all the same! Simply cut up your sausages, skewer a few bits of spaghetti through them (get the kids to help!) and then boil until the pasta is cooked through. Add sauce or serve as is and look on in horror which the kids enjoy!
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For more quick funnies, prose and pictures, see the Coffee Break on http://www.mumstheword.co.za - and keep them coming to sally@mumstheword.co.za!
Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!
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There will be a Creative Hothouse Course running in Jozi from 17th - 21st August and again from 24th - 28th August from 9am-4om for 7-12 year olds. Activities include creative art, games, drama, dance, music and even recording a CD of songs! This fun filled creative week where children are encouraged to express themselves and build confidence costs R1500 including snacks, materials and CD's. For more information call Sue on 083 230 0319. |
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Parenting expert Angela Hutchinson in collaboration with interior stylist Sam Scarborough and professional organiser Maryann Gillett will be running a Creative Parenting workshop at Deerpark Café on Thursday 6 th August, 5.30pm to 7.30pm, cost R250 including snacks and a glass of wine. For more info email magillett@mweb.co.za. |
In Closing…
Lots of great giveaways this month so get entering! Please also don't forget about the new mums forum on the website - get chatting about anything from new babies to what book you are reading. Otherwise anything else you want to share send as always to sally@mumstheword.co.za.
Until next time…
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Email mailto:sally@mumstheword.co.za?subject=Subscribe to MTW! with Subscribe to MTW in the subject line.