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NEWSLETTER
- JAN / FEB 2006
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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES
CONTENTS
Ed's Note
Because I said so… your monthly column from the editor
Featured Article 1: Communicating with Babies and Toddlers, by Meredith Bonte
Featured Article 2: Preparing for Pre-School, by Sally Hetherington
Quick Coffee Break: It's all in the wording - for all the mums we know!
Book Club: My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult
Link up!
Giveaways! See what's on offer this month
Noticeboard: Useful stuff!
In Closing...
Ed's Note
Firstly, apologies for this month's issue being so late! We only arrived back from holiday a few days ago, and of course while I had every intention of getting MTW started while I was away, well, as you can imagine, that just didn't happen. There was just far too much relaxing to do to get the newsletter done! And believe you me after the mad Christmas season I needed the break! I must also apologise to those of you who received your December issue more than once - I am trying out a new system that sends the newsletter automatically onto my subscriber base, but as with all technology advancements, gremlins creep in! I am trying it out again to see if the problem recurs, so forgive me if it does! Hopefully my trusty service provider man will sort it out if it does!
This month we bring you two articles. The first is on communicating with your babies - I am sure many of you have seen Meet the Fockers and been amazed at the ability of the baby to sign to his grandad. Well it's not just in the movies - small children can be tought to sign, an invaluable tool in learning to communicate with your little on before they have words. The other article is very close to my heart at the moment - preparing your little one for school! I can't believe that later this week Megan will have her very first day of play school. It's a bittersweet moment - I can't wait for the two mornings a week to myself, yet I know I will be lost without her and don't want to grow up too fast! Anyway I hope the advice will help you prepare your child - and yourself - for that first big step! Anyway some more news from my side - we had our twelve week scan the other day and all is well with baby - who suprisingly was fast asleep through the whole thing - nothing like her big sister! Yes, her big sister - we are having another little girl! I am very excited and I know that Megan will love having a little sister to play with. Otherwise I hope all of you enjoyed last month's bumper giveaway issue - lots of prizes were won, but if you weren't one of the lucky ones, there will be more in store over the coming months so don't give up! And please remember to keep the article suggestions coming and post any questions or things that you would like to share on the forum at www.mumstheword.co.za - and let's keep the database growing so don't forget to send your copy of MTW on! Here's to a fantastic 2006 with lots of new and exciting things for all of us! Cheers! (a non-alcoholic Appletiser cheers for me that is!)
Because
I said so…
Holidays with the kids. Now there is an oxymoron if I ever heard one. (For those of you have forgotten your high school English, an Oxymoron is defined as “ A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist ”[dictionary.com]). It's like putting the word “diet” in front of “chocolate”. Kids and “holiday” just don't go together. Don't get me wrong – I love going away and spending time with the family at a new location, but holiday it is not. It's not like I leave “mom / chef / nurse / cleaner / bottle washer” at home and go on holiday to be a sun goddess, oh no. I still carry on doing pretty much most of what I do at home, I just do it somewhere else. It is great having hubby around to lighten the load a bit, but that mother bit just never goes away entirely! I am in Langebaan at the moment – we have been here three days now and last night was the first night that I actually got some sleep. The first two nights were a nightmare – I think Megan felt somewhat disorientated and woke up too many times to count before eventually ending up in our bed (something we usually avoid) – only to eventually discover a fine rash on her front which the doctor diagnosed as roseola. So some Stopayne and a little antihystamine went a long way to a peaceful night last night!
And travelling with a kid is something else. By the time you are finished packing you need a holiday. And when you get home and are finished unpacking you need a holiday from the holiday! I remember some time ago my hubby phoned me from work one Friday lunch time. I had just sat down with a sarmie, all ready for my hour's peace and quiet having just put Megan down for her nap. “Hey,” he said. “Feel like going to Langebaan for the weekend?” Well of course I did - anything for a weekend away. But what hubby didn't realise was exactly how much preparation is required to go to the local supermarket, never mind my parents' holiday house ninety minutes away! It was now 1pm, and I promised to pick my hubby up at 4:30. I eventually arrived at his office just past 5 – having spent the entire afternoon packing – for two days. A non parent would not believe the amount of stuff that travels with children! And I was particularly impressed with myself for fitting everything, including two dogs, into the car, and not packing the trailer (purely because I didn't have the strength to hitch it up myself!). Of course the joy with going to a fully kitted holiday house is that pretty much everything is there – we just need to bring clothes, toiletries and baby stuff. There is a great Spar down the road so we buy everything when we get here, so it's not too much of a train-smash if we leave something behind.
So don't ask me what possessed us to book ten glorious days of sea, sun and sand in April – for all three of us. Maybe it was the thought of ten glorious days of sea, sun and sand (and being served pizza on the beach by the local island boys…) We are staying in a pretty decent resort where we will be waited on hand and foot (well 6 month pregnant belly in my case – I don't plan for any foot of mine to leave the deckchair) – and Megan will be fully taken care of by the kids club. But oh the stress already. I am already making lists in my head of everything that needs to go with – after all there will be NO local Spars where we are going – just a big expensive hotel. So I need to make sure I have enough nappies, formula, sunblock, in-case medicine, plasters, clothes, baby shampoo – everything, to last us ten days. And lo and behold we forget Mr Puppy – then none of us will have a holiday! But we consider it out last bash before baby number two arrives in July – and I am really looking forward to making the most of it! Counting down the days as I write! I think she will have a ball and we will have a nice rest. Anyone with any tips on air travel and holidays away from the familiar would be appreciated!
It is now a few days later and I am back at home, missing the holidays already! I realise exactly how much help I did have now that hubby has gone back to work and I am back at home by myself – okay I embellish a little – thank goodness for domestic workers! The ironing pile was a distant haze during the holidays and I just couldn't bring myself to face it. My house is at last clean and tidy, toys packed away, floors washed and scrubbed… and Megan is down for a nap. Bliss. It is only day one of being back in the swing of things, and yes, I am counting down the days to April! Long live family holidays!
Featured Article 1: SIGNsational Kids - Communicating with Babies and Toddlers
By Meredith Bonte
Have you ever looked into the eyes of your babe and thought, “I wonder what he's thinking?”. Whether it be through a baby's actions or just a look he gives, we know that babies understand a great deal more than they are able to express verbally. Traditionally, a child needs to wait for physical maturity, to allow for the development of some 70 muscles necessary to produce a single word, before being able accurately able to communicate her thoughts. This leaves a large gap period in which frustration at their lack of ability to communicate may lead to tantrums, outbursts and physical acts of aggression such as hitting, screaming and biting. But since gross motor skills develop before the fine motor skills which are necessary for speech, it has been found that children have a natural capability to communicate– but with their hands!
Research has shown that teaching a child sign language signs allows them to more accurately communicate their wants, needs and observations and so reduces frustration for both child and caregiver alike.
“It's a simple process that doesn't require any prior knowledge of sign language”, says Meredith Bonte, who pioneered the use of sign language with hearing babies and toddlers in South Africa and founded the SIGNsational KIDS Institute. “Many of the signs are iconic, meaning they look like the object they represent, making them easy to remember.”
Despite initial concerns that signing may delay the acquisition of speech, the opposite is actually true. Drs. Acredolo & Goodwyn have found that signing children speak on average 3-4 months earlier, since the hand movements involved in signing stimulate the language centre of the brain. In addition to this, signing children showed a 30% increase in verbal vocabulary and scored 10-12 points higher on intelligence tests, 8 years later. “Although these benefits are a sound enough reason for any parent to decide to sign with their child, I found that the experience of truly connecting with my son absolutely marvellous!” says Meredith. “It was wonderful to gain insights into what he was thinking and there have been a number of instances where signing really paid off. One such instance occurred one evening when, my son Anthony, then aged 13 months who had been delaying his going to bed, looked at me tearfully and signed “scared” and “seal”. It was then that I remembered our outing to the zoo earlier that day. A seal had jumped out and barked at us, giving Anthony a fright. Now at night, this memory had made him anxious and it was so good to be able to reassure him, that there was nothing to worry about.”
Signing is easily incorporated into your child's daily routine and developing a habit of using some simple signs provides a way for your child to express himself. “The practical implications of signing meant that Anthony was able to tell me when he was hungry, thirsty or tired, which reduced his frustration at not yet being able to express himself verbally”, says Meredith, “ and as his speech developed, I was able to acknowledge and praise him for his early attempts at speaking and where words like, DOOR, DOLL, and DUCK for example, all sounded like “dah”, it made deciphering of words easy since the sign clarified what he was saying. It did wonders for his self-esteem.”
The use of South African Sign Language (SASL) as an early form of communication is now being viewed by many as an essential aid in effective parenting, and is being taken on by childcare centres around the country. “It has greatly reduced levels of frustration for both teachers and children and has allowed the children to express their wants needs and observations” says Gigi Bales, owner of Optibaby Fourways. “We also have found that there are fewer incidences of biting and temper tantrums”, says Gigi.
For those in the Gauteng area, Meredith offers parent workshops covering the process of signing as well as verbal language development skills and activities. In addition to this Meredith Bonte has just released her SIGNsational KIDS Complete Kit-South Africa's first comprehensive resource for learning SASL to communicate more meaningfully with your child. Visit her s ite at www.signingkids.co.za for more information.
Featured Article 2: Preparing for Pre-School
By Sally Hetherington
Starting play or preschool is probably one of the biggest milestones your child (and you!) will take – an emotional time for mom and dad, and a big change for your little one. It is after all their first step into the big wide world - and independence! Naturally as a parent you may be anxious about choosing the right school for your child, and it is also your duty to prepare your child for what is coming, and get them excited rather than apprehensive about Mom leaving them behind…
Choosing a Pre-School
Most preschools often mornings only, with only some offering aftercare, and children attend anything from once a week to five days a week. You will need to decide on a preschool suiting your time-table as well as choosing a routine that will fit your child. Many parents opt to start their children off in smaller steps, maybe one or two days a week, building this up to four or even five. You will need to check with your school if it is an option to increase attendance days, as many schools are booked in advance. It is best to do your homework early on (preferably early the year before they start), and ask questions about the school, activities, safety, and of course cost. It is also a good idea to pop in unannounced with your child, to see how the teachers relate to the children, if the children seem content, whether activities look age appropriate and the general appearance of the school. Don't be shy to ask for references. Speak to other parents who have children at the school. And most importantly, go with your instincts. If something just doesn't feel right, keep looking. After all, you know your child best.
Helping your child to cope
Starting school is a huge leap for children – exciting for most but scary for some. Here are some ideas to help your child prepare for their first day:
- Spend time talking before they start about what to expect. Tell them all the exciting things they are going to be doing, introduce them beforehand to their teacher, and tell them what their routine will be like. If possible visit the school and show them where to find everything. Small children thrive on predictability – if they know what's coming they will settle in easier.
- Don't brush off your child's feelings of concern. Explain that it is normal to be a little scared, but that they will soon make lots of friends. Make sure that they understand that you will not be with them at school, but stress that you will be there to fetch them after naptime / lunchtime / story-time or whatever the routine. Tell them also that if they are sick at school the teacher will phone you to come and fetch them. Answer any questions honestly but with reassurance.
- Help your child to be involved in their morning routine by allowing them to choose their outfit (limit to two choices to speed things up!), let them help make breakfast and choose what they would like for lunch (remember chips and sweets aren't food!).
- For very anxious children consider packing a keepsake from home in their bags, such as a favourite teddy or a small token from Mom.
- When they have started school, arrange for play dates with fellow classmates. Once your child has made friends getting them home will be the problem, not going to school!
- Listen to your child. Talk about the day, what they have experienced and how they are feeling. Act on feelings of concern and trust your instincts. If your child has seemed happy at school and suddenly finds every reason in the book not to go, dig deeper to try and find out what the problem is.
If your child refuses for you to leave, ask the teacher for assistance and find an activity that you know your child enjoys. The teacher would have seen it all before and might be able to offer assistance. You can always phone later to make sure your child is okay. Remember that starting school is a huge transition, and some children might have trouble sleeping or get hysterical on the way or even lash out – this is normal as they take time to adjust. Acknowledge their feelings and constantly reassure them, and before you know it you will wonder where the time went as you prepare them for their first day of highschool!
Quick Coffee Break: It's all in the wording - for all the mums we know...
A good friend of mine (and fellow MTW reader) sent this to me and I had to share it with all of you (thanks Heidi!):
A woman named Emily renewing her driver's license at the Transport office was asked by the clerk to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the clerk, "do you have a job, or are you just a...?
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mum."
"We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation... ' housewife ' covers it," said the clerk emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our local police station. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know... The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire!
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing programme of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (each family member), and already have four credits, (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the girl's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door .
When I got home, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 10, 7, and 3. Upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby), in the child-development programme, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had triumphed over bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mum."
Motherhood... What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. (Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" , and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"??? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants”.)
Bookclub: My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult
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"A major decision about me is being made, and no one's bothered to ask the one person who most deserves it to speak her opinion." This is the brilliant and often heartwrenching story of Anna and her family, who was born to donate her cord blood cells to her older sister, and by age thirteen she has undergone countless procedures. Anna decides enough is enough, and decides to sue her parents for control over her own body, possibly putting her own sister's life at risk. The story is told through the voices of the family members as well |
Link up! www.signingkids.co.za
Everything you have ever wanted to know about teaching your kids to sign, from SIGNsational Kids. Read up about the benefits of enabling your child to communicate from a young age, as well as the bonding experience in it for both of you. The website also offers testimonials from parents who have been on the signing course, giving you a better insight into why you should consider learning the art of signing. In hindsight I wish I had learnt about it when Megan was younger - as now that she is talking our lives are so much easier, I can only imagine how it would have been to be able to "chat" to her earlier!
P.S.: Don't forget to add your views on anything and everything to the forum on www.mumstheword.co.za!
Back to contents
WINWINWIN! This Month's Giveaway!
Get started in your quest to understand your baby with a R120 voucher from SIGNsational Kids. For those in the JHB area the voucher can be redeemed for a 3 hour workshop on signing (very valuable experience), or for those outside of JHB, you can use the voucher for the SIGNsational book. To enter send an email with "SIGN Giveaway" in the subject line to sally@mumstheword.co.za . Closing date 20 February 2006.
Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!
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Congrats to two of our readers (that I know of!) who had little tots over the festive season! To Linda, a baby girl Olivia, sister to Isabella, and to Belinda, a little boy James. Best of luck to both of you and keep us up to date - and we want some pictures for the gallery! |
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We have a lot of winner s ! Congrats to the following readers: Spur vouchers - Andrew Strachan (it seems we DO have some male readers!), Christa Maans and Kim Worrall; Baby Banz - Heidi Hudson-Bennett (she never fails to enter!), Baby Book & Puzzle - Erica Nieuwenhuis, Acorn Hamper - Michelle Berry, Kidz Only Hamper - Belinda Levine, Waiting for Christopher Book - Debra Rumble, Puntino Hamper - Ursula Beek. (I am still trying to get hold of the bababag winner - if I am unsuccessful I will draw another winner). Please allow some time for prize delivery as some of the sponsors are still on leave and I am awaiting delivery myself! Thanks! |
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Next issue: We will be talking a bit about toddler and child sexuality - a sometimes difficult but necessary subject. I would also love all your first day school stories and ideas as to how you and your child prepared for that important milestone! Post any questions or issues that you feel need to be discussed on the message board at www.mumstheword.co.za - whatever grabs you! Your comments on MTW would also be hugely appreciated! |
In Closing…
As you can see I have combined Jan and Feb's issue as one since the month is half over already! That gives you all lots of time to send me all your news, views and comments! I am going to possibly start taking things a little slower over the next couple of months, but I promise I will do my best to keep your issue of MTW coming, even if its late! Let me know if there are any topics that you would like covered in the next few months! And for those of you with little ones starting school - best wishes and treasure these special memories!
Until next time…
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