NEWSLETTER - JUNE 2006

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CONTENTS
Ed's Note
Because I said so… your monthly column from the editor
Featured Article: Feeding Tricky Toddlers, by Sally Shuttleworth  
Quick Coffee Break: A Toddler's Rules of Possession
Link up: Woman's Lifestyle World
Top Tips!
Giveaways! See what's on offer this month
June Events: See what's happening this month!
Noticeboard: Useful stuff!
In Closing...

Ed's Note

Whew what a weekend I have had. I am now 33 weeks pregnant, and suffering from chronic sleep deprivation. And no, it's not because I am going to the toilet all night (okay not only that) - my husband and I have decided that it's time the very expensive bed we bought for our toddler got used. After all, it's been gathering dust for the past three weeks! We tried the "but you are such a big girl" thing - didn't work. Madam doesn't care if she's still a baby, she just wants her cot. So then we resorted to what all parents resort to - bribary... "If you sleep in your big bed tonight you can have a present!" So it was off to the toy store where she chose a modest Barney Puzzle and rip off Barbie (hey she can't read the lable) and the cot was duely taken down to "go back to the shop". End of story... haha noways. Picture two nights in a row of getting her to sleep past ten pm, sitting, patting, holding hands and "Mommy my leg's sore, rub it" and "No, Mommy, STAAAAYYY!". Well clearly rubbing her "sore" leg last night stuck in the back of her mind because I was up again at 2 this morning because her legs were about to fall off, but no she didn't want panado. Eventually I had to do the bad cop thing and say well if it was that bad then you would take your medicine and since you won't I'm going back to bed so goodnight. By some miracle she actually went to sleep and I thought "Ha! round three hundred and sixty seven to me!" (it's been an ongoing tally... I seem to be on a losing streak...)  Anyway I would love to know your stories on getting a toddler in a bed - send them to sally@mumstheword.co.za or post them on the forum.

I had a request a while ago to do something on feeding a fussy toddler. I am very lucky in that Megan eats like a horse and I rarely have to worry about how much is going in, but I know many moms who have sought professional advice because they were worried that one fling a day is not adequate nutrition! So I hope this month's article helps those of you with picky eaters. I have also arranged  a  lovely family giveaway for you  as well as something to pretty up your little one - see below for more details and remember to get those emails in!   Finally if there are any mums out there with a knack for writing who would like to send in a guest column to help me when I have number two, please get in touch with your contributions to sally@mumstheword.co.za.

Because I said so…

I had an entry on my forum a while ago from the mother of an eighteen month old, who is starting to feel broody for number two, and said “ it seems to me like all my friends are falling pregnant around me, and I have these thoughts of "I want one too!" Clearly she was having that moment of insanity that we all have every now and then – yes some of us (i.e. me) act on it and get on with the job… hence the big tummy, while others actually remember what it was like having a new baby in the house. For those of you who have forgotten, I thought perhaps a few tips on dealing with that sudden urge to once again procreate might be in ord er...

1. Borrow a friend's newborn for a weekend. Deal with being up all night, upchuck, baby pooh and your toddler all at the same time. Send hubby out so you remember what it's like being at home alone with all this to cope with… all day.

2. Strap a two kilo weight belt to your tummy. Add a few kilo's every other day until you are at least 15 kilos heavier (if you are feeling brave, keep going). Cope with the backache while picking up your heavy toddler.

3. Soak some cotton balls in water. Stuff them in your bra. Walk around with a soggy bra all day. Remember what leaky boobs feel like.

4. Put an entire packet of rollertowels in your underwear. Try and pretend that they aren't there. And try and pretend that you don't feel like the whole world knows that they are there. Remember what the first 6 weeks of bleeding after coming out of hospital felt like.

5. Switch the TV and radio off, unplug the phone. Stay like this for a week and don't leave the house. Remember what its like not to have a life.

6. Dig last night's PJ's out the wash box. Put them back on. Wear them for a week. Don't wash your hair. Remember what it's like not having time to shower. And answer the front door as you are.

7. Take your toddler shopping with her pram. Put a big pillow in the pram and cover with blankets. Try push the pram while at the same time holding onto your toddler's hand and selecting and storing groceries. Best practiced when toddler is tired. Remind yourself why having just one is far easier.

8. Go to your local shopping centre. Stand outside the lift entrance and wait for at least five lifts to go by before actually entering one. Remember what it's like when rude people don't notice or care that you have a pram and can't use the escalator.

9. Put a five kilogram watermelon in your toddler's old piccolo / car-chair. Hold toddler's hand in one hand and carry piccolo in the other and walk around the block. Practice daily. Remember what it's like to have bruises on your thighs and sore shoulders on a daily basis.

10. Stuff a pillowcase full of beanbags. Strap to your tummy and breast area. Repeat every night for at least four months. Remember what it's like not to be able to sleep on your tummy.

11. Set your alarm to wake you every hour through the night. When it goes off, get up and go to the toilet. It doesn't matter if there is nothing there. Just go through the motions of sitting on the cold seat regardless. Return to bed and warm your cold feet on your partner while trying to get the beanbag pillowcase in a comfortable position. Remember what it's like to have a baby pressing on your bladder.

12. After four months of the above, extend your alarm to wake you every ninety minutes to two hours. When it goes off, walk down the passage. Sit on the cold couch with a pillow in your lap for another thirty minutes, trying to stay awake. Carry said pillow around and walk up and down the passage for another twenty minutes. Return to bed. Repeat two hours later. Remember what it's like demand feeding a newborn (this happened for at least six months in my case!)

13. Take that two week old leftover out of your fridge. Eat it. Repeat daily. Remember what morning sickness feels like and never knowing when it's going to hit you.

14. Clear out your deepfreeze. Cram full of Tupperware. Go shopping and buy your regular groceries. Try and cram it in with the Tupperware. Remember what it's like to have your freezer full of puree.

15. Divide your grocery money in half. Use half for household necessities and flush the other half down the toilet (or donate to charity). Remember how much nappies and formula cost.

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Featured Article: Feeding Tricky Toddlers
By Sally Shuttleworth of babypure and purekids

You are not alone if you dread dinnertime in your household. There are thousands of parents out there who even stay at work longer to put the inevitable event off for as long as possible.

Feelings of frustration that yet another mealtime has come and gone where you know you have given in to your little ones desire for yet more bread, or whatever his or her favourite tipple seems to be, and the guilt that comes along with knowing that a green or orange veggie really should have featured somewhere during the day!

This is in addition to the mess, chaos and general mayhem of trying to prevent the dog from getting all the best bits (and he knows just where to sit to get your toddler's attention!), to trying to keep the bowl upright on the table.

All finished off with a pint sized amount of feelings of rejection that your culinary efforts have once again been sneered at by a 2 year old!

Toddlers are meant to be picky eaters, its all in the genes!

1. Developmentally, they need less food in year 2 as their growth slows down so they don't eat as much.
2. Sitting down for a meal requires focused attention that even some adults struggle with, and yet we expect a toddler to sit down to dinner.
3. They are much more independent, now realizing that they are separate from you. They have woken up to the fact that they can make decisions, and have learned the word “no”. After a small lifetime of not being able to communicate, it must be wonderful to finally be able to have your say!

In fact, snacking their way through the day is a much better way for a toddler to eat. They have small tummies, and they can't eat a lot of food in one go.

It is better to give a toddler five small meals, using creative tactics to get him to eat, and if you have a child that doesn't eat very much, it is important to realize that every bite counts. So, if you are filling your child up with chips or sweets because that is the only thing he or she will eat, there are two things to note. Firstly, there is no nutritional benefit to these things. Even giving your child a bag of chips in the afternoon will affect how much he or she eats of the good stuff. Secondly, giving in to your child when you would rather he had eaten an apple, gives him the message that he can push you to giving in each time. So, he just says “no” to every healthy alternative until he finally gets the 6 th slice of bread for the day.

Try and make mealtimes (all five of them!) into a creative culinary adventure.

Some ideas:

1. Dipping: Toddlers love to feed themselves finger foods, they love to paint with their food and they love to be as creative at dinner as they are with paints, crayons and play dough. Put a few different sauces into little colourful containers and a selection of dipping foods (chicken fingers, chicken meatballs, sausages, roasted butternut, halved rosa tomatoes, eggs etc) and play a dipping game.

2. Drawing pictures: Cover the table with a plastic table cloth and allow your toddler to use his yogurt or cottage pie as paint. He gets a spoon, and you get a spoon. He gets to put a spoon of yogurt onto the mat to paint with, and you get to feed him the yogurt. Make sure the yogurt is a full fat, unsweetened variety. A good alternative to ready prepared supermarket fruit yogurts is a full fat greek style yogurt with dried fruit puree as a flavourant. This is a really healthy alternative which is packed with live probiotics and good calories, and calcium. No added sugars or preservatives. Also great for the digestive system.

3. Change the environment : If even approaching the “feeding” chair in the kitchen produces adrenalin and stress hormones in both you and your toddler, as you both front yourselves for a food fight, then eat somewhere else. Try the garden if it's a nice day. Take a toy truck and get your toddler to drive it to each depot, loading a meatball at each point. He has to then eat one in order to load the next one. Or something.

4. Reduce the juice : If you are giving your child juice with his or her meal, then cut it back. In fact, get rid of the sippy, non-spill cups with teats, spouts and straws. Not only are they damaging your child's appetite as he is able to keep it in his mouth all the time, thus preventing you from getting a spoon of food wedged in there at all, but it is also impeding his speech development through the lack of drinking and swallowing motion required when drinking from an open top cup. Finally, the motion of drinking helps strengthen your child's jaw for chewing. Keep non spill cups for cars and when you are out and about.

You can make the juice part of the meal a prize for eating well. Use a small amount of juice in an open topped cup (100% juice diluted with water. Avoid concentrates or nectars as sugar has been added as well as preservatives) and let him have a sip of juice for every mouthful of food.

5. Buy the right food: Your job is simply to buy the right food and prepare it nutritiously. Avoid processed foods if possible as they are not giving your fussy toddler the best nutrients. If you need to make food more exciting, then try All Gold ketchup which is preservative free.

6. Your child won't starve himself : In fact, a large part of the responsibility is your toddler's. If you say “no” to the one thing he wants to eat (like ice-cream) and move on to bath time when he won't eat the yummy dinner you have lovingly prepared, it won't take him too many days to work out that if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't get fed. That means he gets hungry. Not such a good feeling. Better eat while he has the chance.

7. Expect the unexpected : Toddlers are erratic, and it follows therefore that their eating habits will be too. So, if he loves spaghetti bolognese today, it doesn't necessarily mean he will want to eat it tomorrow. In fact, when you find a food that your toddler loves, take care not to over offer it. There will come a time when he is bored of even that and then you have to find something else very quickly! Your child may eat really well one day and hardly anything the next. Over a week, you will find that his eating habits even out and he has had sufficient calories and nutrients. Toddlers need between 1,000 and 1,300 calories (good calories!) a day, but they won't eat this in evenly spread calories every day. Aim for a nutritionally-balanced week, not a balanced day.

8. Offer a nibble tray : Use different coloured and sized containers to offer different varieties of food in. Use compartmentalized dishes and put bit-sized portions of colourful food in each.

· Thinly sliced apple and other fruits (grapes should be halved)

· avocado boats (a quarter of an avocado)

· banana wheels

· broccoli trees (steamed broccoli florets)

· carrot swords (cooked and thinly sliced)

· cheese building blocks

· egg canoes (hard- boiled egg wedges)

· little O's (o-shaped cereal)

· Butternut sticks

Place the food on an easy-to-reach table. As your toddler plays, he can stop, sit down, eat some, and, when he's done, continue with his play. These foods have a table-life of an hour or two. When a toddler doesn't eat for long periods, it messes up his sugar levels and makes him grumpy, resulting in bad behaviour which increases stress levels in general. Frequent grazing is a necessity!

9. Loading: Toddlers are into piling foods on top of each other the way they love to build blocks. Putting nutritious, familiar favorites on top of new and less-desirable foods is a way to broaden what they will eat.

10. Drink it : Blend a smoothie using full fat yogurt, fruit, honey (for the over 1's), wheatgerm, etc and provide it to them in a colourful cup as a drink. They get the nutrients without realizing that it is good for them!

11. Grow a garden : Although your toddler should be offered three to five servings of veggies a day, for children under five, each serving need be only a tablespoon for each year of age. A two- year-old should ideally consume two tablespoons of vegetables three to five times a day. So if you aren't the proud parent of a veggie lover, try the following tricks:

· For older children, plant a garden together. Not only is it a great learning activity, she will definitely want to eat the produce of her efforts.

· Slip grated or diced vegetables into favorite foods. Try adding them to rice, cottage cheese, cream cheese, guacamole, or even macaroni and cheese.

· Camouflage vegetables with a favourite sauce. Cheesy sauce is always a winner. Prepare it with wholewheat flour for added benefits.

· Use vegetables as finger foods and dip them in a favorite sauce or dip.

· Using a small cookie cutter, cut the vegetables into interesting shapes.

12. Eat with friends : If your child is going through a picky-eater stage, invite over a friend who is the same age or slightly older whom you know enjoys his or her food. Chances are, your child will follow suit.

13. Respect tiny tummies : Keep food servings small. Wondering how much to offer? Here's a rule of thumb – or, rather, of hand. A young child's stomach is approximately the size of his fist. So dole out small portions at first and refill the plate when your child asks for more. This less-is-more meal plan is not only more successful with picky eaters, it also has the added benefit of stabilizing blood-sugar levels, which in turn minimizes mood swings. As most parents know, a hungry child is generally not a happy child. 

14. Snacktime: If you want your child to eat well at dinner, don't feed him snacks within two hours of dinnertime. 11. Make it accessible. Give your toddler shelf space. Reserve a low shelf in the refrigerator for a variety of your toddler's favorite (nutritious) foods and drinks. Whenever she wants a snack, open the door for her and let her choose one. This tactic also enables children to eat when they are hungry, an important step in acquiring a healthy attitude about food.

15. Child-sized tables and chairs : Children are likely to sit and eat longer at a child-size table and chair where their feet touch the ground. They feel more like a grown-up than when in a high chair. The Sit-Right high chair is great because it changes from a high chair to a chair that your toddler can get up onto on his own and has somewhere to put their feet.

16. Let them cook: Children are more likely to eat their own creations, so, when appropriate, let your child help prepare the food. Use cookie cutters to create edible designs out of foods like cheese, bread, thin meat slices, or cooked lasagna noodles. Give your assistant such jobs as tearing and washing lettuce, scrubbing potatoes, or stirring batter. Put pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and let your child supervise as you squeeze the batter onto the hot griddle in fun shapes, such as hearts, numbers, letters, or even spell the child's name.

The most important thing is to RELAX. Sometime between her second and third birthday, you can expect your child to become set in her ideas on just about everything – including the way food is prepared. Expect food fixations . If the toast must be on top of the egg and you put the egg on top of the toast, be prepared for a protest. It's not easy to reason with an opinionated two-year-old. Don't interpret this as being stubborn. Toddlers have a mindset about the order of things in their world. Any alternative is unacceptable. This is a passing stage.

We hope that these ideas help you to get your toddlers enjoying their mealtimes. Food should be fun. It is important to raise children with a healthy and happy attitude to food. Take the stress away, and you may be surprised at how much you all enjoy mealtimes. Just like the Brady family.

Sally is co-founder of babypure and purekids food products. See www.babypure.co.za to order some tasty treats to tempt even the fussiest eater.

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Quick Coffee Break: A Toddler's Rules of Possession

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

For more quick funnies, prose and pictures, see the Coffee Break on www.mumstheword.co.za - and keep them coming to sally@mumstheword.co.za!

Link up - www.wlw.co.za

WHAT MORE COULD A WOMAN ASK FOR? Women's Lifestyle World is WHAT WOMEN WANT, a national online women's club, devoted to the interests of women! As a club member  you receive incredible savings on a variety of products and services, saving you time and hassle.  Be informed of workshops & networking events happening around the country, where you can connect with like-minded ladies in a relaxed, informal setting.  The website also offers a variety of excellent articles on your business, your image, parenting, relationships, and easy recipes for busy ladies.  See www.wlw.co.za or contact Monique - monique@wlw.co.za.

P.S.: Don't forget to add your views on anything and everything to the forum on www.mumstheword.co.za!

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Top Tips

Last month we had an article on preparing for baby number two. A friend gave me two great books to read to your toddler on this topic, just pictures, no text, so you can make up your own story. They are called Waiting for Baby and My New Baby, both by "Child's Play" and illustrated by Annie Kubler. I have found them on Kalahari.net here: http://www.kalahari.net/bk/product.asp?toolbar=none&sku=9525168&format=detail http://www.kalahari.net/bk/product.asp?toolbar=none&sku=9525169&format=detail Both retail at R50 excluding delivery of R30.

Another great product I recently discovered is Nazo Vapour Patches, available from pharmacies. These are great for treating toddlers' stuffy noses at night - all you do is stick a patch on their blankets or pj's and the penetrating eucalyptus and camphor helps them to breathe as well as helping with tight chests. These were really useful a couple of weeks back when Megan had a bad cold and was keeping us awake all night with her coughing. They are available from pharmacies - check with your pharmacist or doctor before using them!

P.S.: Don't forget to add your views on anything and everything to the forum on www.mumstheword.co.za!

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WINWINWIN! This Month's Amazing Giveaways!

Gift Vouchers to the Two Oceans Aquarium

Two  lucky reader s stand the chance to win  tickets for two adults to the Two Oceans Aquarium in Cape Town - and since kids under 4 go in for free, it's a great excuse to take the whole family for a great and informative day out to see a huge array of sea-life.  To enter send your details to sally@mumstheword.co.za with "Aquarium" in the subject line before 25 June 2006. For more information see www.aquarium.co.za.

lil'lables Gift Voucher

A visit to this Cape Town based kiddies boutique is a must for anyone wanting to dress their kids in imported designer baby and children's wear - with new stock arriving all the time and limited editions - so your child can have a truely unique wardrobe. One lucky subscriber can win a R250 voucher from lil'lables to get started - to enter send your details to sally@mumstheword.co.za with "lil'lables" in the subject line before 25 June 2006 For more information on lil'lables contact Ursula on (021) 671-1913 or email ursula@gin.co.za.

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June Events:

SPECIAL MENTIONS:

Feminine Expressions Belly Dance Extravanganza

Friday 2 June at 7pm, Bergvliet High School, Cape Town
The Hip Circle and Sickle Moon Belly Dance Schools present an evening of beautiful dance - tickets are R40, with a percentage of all proceeds going to Place of Hope and St Josephs Adult Education Program. Belly dancing is an ancient and exceptional dance form that has survived till today, it creates a strong core foundation in which woman are free to express their individuality, beauty, strength, gentleness and sensuality. It is not a dance of seduction, but a dance in celebration of a woman's essence... It is, and has always been, danced by woman of all ages, shapes and sizes. Celebrating the mysteries of life, it is also danced in preparation for childbirth and recovery after- in fact Natasha will be almost 9 months pregnant on the show date! For more information and bookings call 083 383-0503 or 084 556-4852 or email natasha@bellydancing.co.za.

Baby and Toddler Talks, by Megan Faure and Ann Richardson

Saturday 3 June, The Forum, V&A Hotel, Waterfront
Baby - 9am- 11am:
Womb to World: Help your baby manage the transition into our busy sensory world. Optimal development happens when your baby is calm and alert and receives balanced stimulation. This talk by Megan Faure will practically show you how to limit the effects of colic and enhance your baby's development optimally.
Establishing good sleep habits: Strategies for good sleep habits must be introduced from the early days, to ensure good sleep habits. Ann Richardson will look at how to set the stage for a good nights sleep in the first year. Toddler - 11am - 1pm:
Toddler calming and behaviour: Debunking the mysteries of the terrible twos, Meg Faure looks at how to approach toddler behaviour with understanding. She will equip parents with strategies that enhance interactions and learning in these critical years.
Sleep solutions: Ann Richardson will look at the classic sleep problems of the toddler years. Tools to help you solve sleep problems in the toddler years are the focus of this talk.
Costs: R100 for one session or R150 for both (the first five readers who quote Mum's the Word when booking receive a 10% discount).
For more information and to book contact Paula on (021) 701-0743.

Sugar & Spice Mom's Night Out
Wednesday 7th of June, between 5:30pm and 8:30pm, 31 Eden Road, Claremont
Exhibitors include: babypure & purekids, bababags, brag bags, amber bamba, mother nature cloth nappies, tiny love, bear essentials first aid and more!
For more information contact Kirsten on kmcintosh@telkomsa.net - ENTRANCE FREE!

Two Oceans Aquarium: Celebrating Dads - Doring River Rafting Adventure

Friday 16 - Sunday 18 June
Fancy getting your toes wet? Try your hand at river rafting and see how well you can navigate those exhilarating rapids. The Two Oceans Aquarium and Wildthing Adventures offer you an opportunity to go white water rafting down the Doring River in the Northern Cederberg – Clanwilliam area. Contact their Members' Centre for further information as well as checklist and map for this thrilling adventure, on (021) 418-3823.
Price: Adults: R895.00 per person, 8 yrs to 18 yrs old: R795.00 per person. Please note: No children under 8 years of age.
Bookings close: 12 June 2006

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Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!

	We have a winner! Congrats to  Tali Bruk who won the incredible photoshoot ! For more info on see www.hearts.co.za.  Congrats also to Leanne Stockell who was the lucky winner of the one.waterfront voucher - see www.capegrace.com for more info! And remember to keep those entries coming!
	I have to make a special mention of our resident cartoonist, Mark Sage. Every month he sends me a gorgeous cartoon for my newsletter at no charge, so I thought it only fair to give him a little punt! Mark is brilliant at doing caricatures and commissioned cartoons - all you need to do is send him some family pics and tell him what you want - you can also order past Babies on the Run's from him. For more see his website www.sagecartoons.co.za or email sage@sagecartoons.co.za.
	You may remember some time ago we ran an article on learning to sign with your baby or toddler, by Meredith Bonte of SIGNsational Kids. Meredith was interviewed recently by SABC's DTV - catch her between 12 and 12:45 this coming Saturday on SABC3 to learn more about the SIGNsational Kids program.
	You may have noticed that I have removed the very long events calendar off the newsletter, however I will be posting it on my website shortly. It is a very time-consuming section of the newsletter and I would rather get the newsletter out than hold it back for the events. If you feel passionately about having the events on both the newsletter as well as the website please let me know! Feedback is always appreciated!
	Next issue:  We will be talking a bout   First Aid for babies and toddlers -  something we all need to know but hopefully will never need to use!  Post any questions or issues that you feel need to be discussed on the message board at www.mumstheword.co.za - whatever grabs you! Your comments on MTW would also be hugely appreciated!

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In Closing…

Well ladies (yes and the odd gent!) the way I am feeling now your next issue of MTW will be late - not because I have lost my enthusiasm but because I don't think I can hold onto this baby for another month! I still have an official 7 weeks to go, but I reckon something is going to happen by the end of June, and if it doesn't well I don't think I will fit my tummy under my desk to type! Please bear with me for the next couple of weeks if your copy of MTW is erratic - and PLEASE if there are ANY mums out there with a knack for writing and willing to give it a bash, a guest column would definitely be appreciated!   Otherwise have a great Father's Day to all you dads out there - I know I couldn't do it without the support of my dear hubby! On that note I would love to hear how your children's dads help out - you know how to reach me! Otherwise wish me luck, either with holding on or pushing out, not sure which yet...

Until next time…

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