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NEWSLETTER
- MARCH 2007
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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES
CONTENTS
Ed's Note
Because I said so… your monthly column from the editor
Featured Article 1: Birthing Options Part 1: Caregivers & Birthing Places, by Lana Peterson
Featured Article 2: Ten Reasons to Wear your Baby, by Emilia Knight
Ask the Experts: Dealing with a hitting toddler
Quick Coffee Break: The Modern Chick
MTW Recommends: Rhubarb & Custard Slings
Giveaway! See what's on offer this month
Noticeboard: Your space
In Closing...
Ed's Note
Firstly, it seems as though my combining Jan's and Feb's edition left a gap in a lot of people's inboxes! Nice to see I was missed! I had many emails asking "Am I still subscribed? I didn't get a newsletter in Feb!" - No worries everyone, I just decided to combine the one because I did a big one in December, so Feb was my holiday! Plus I have been surviving in a household with two sick kids who have been running me off my feet, and a hubby who is in the middle of year end, so you can imagine how much "me-time" I have actually had recently! But things should hopefully be back to normal soon, and your copy of MTW will once again be a regular feature in your inbox. Those of you who have two kids will know that trying to get anything done is virtually impossible, so if there is anyone who would like to add their two cents worth to MTW I would be most appreciative - be it an article, a guest column or anything that grabs your fancy! Send them to sally@mumstheword.co.za.
I have come to the conclusion that germs travel, procreate and attack at a rate akin to the concorde breaking the sound barrier… especially in a household with a baby and a toddler! What used to take a day or two to leave our household pre-kids now takes on average two weeks… minimum. Take the common cold for example. We all know the symptoms: sore throat for a day or two, followed by a blocked or runny nose, headache, and a couple of days of feeling a bit off colour. Treatment? Two or three days in bed and a good dose of Corenza C. Tell that to the tired mom with two kids! Bedrest?? What's that?
It all started two weeks ago when one of the kids at Megan's school had what can only be described as nuclear waste dripping from nose to chin. Now I don't mind if kids go to school with a bit of a runny nose or a lingering cough – heck I send Megan to school like that, but to me bright luminous green gunk spells disaster (i.e. Keep the kid at home!). So anyway Meg generally has a pretty good immune system and fights things off quite well, but unfortunately the gods weren't smiling on me this time. She soon came down with a pretty nasty cold, which in turn turned into a chest infection. It took her a good ten or so days to completely clear it, and she still has that nasty persistent cough. The end of my problems, you think? Guess again.
No sooner had Megan fought it off than Caty started! I took her to the doctor one Friday morning, and he said yes, her throat is a little bit red, but nothing a bit of Panado won't sort out. By Saturday she had a high fever and a very blocked nose, accompanied by two hundred decibel screaming, so back to the doctor again. Needless to say he was shocked at how much she had deteriorated in 24 hours. So I left his office armed with a miserable baby and a magic script: Painkillers, an antibiotic and nose-drops.
Hands up who has ever tried to administer an antibiotic to a baby. Now hand's up who has actually ever succeeded… Yes, just as I thought. None of you. I would like all those clever high and mighty pharmaceutical companies out there to come and witness the event that is… ‘medicating a baby'. They make the antibiotic so thick and vile that it feels like you are forcing liquid chalk down your poor baby's throat. My (childless) friend was horrified to witness it one day… Me sitting literally on top of Caty to hold her down, arms pinned to her sides, towel over her chest and tucked under her ears (for spillage control), and me squirting the revolting (supposedly banana flavoured – as if that helps) muck into her very unaccommodating mouth, blowing into her face with every drop to make her swallow. Of course with all the screaming most of it got coughed and spluttered back in my face… and then I had to do round two… the Stopayne. Same process, except now I had purple projectiles running down my cheeks. Then for the nose-drops. Now she has gotten wise to this and when she sees the little dropper coming she starts shaking her head vigorously making any attempt at getting it near her nose near impossible. So clamp her face between my knees, nose drops in, more screaming… thankfully Caty is my second child and I'm immune to all the trauma, otherwise by now I would be completely finished and in need of some medication myself!
Anyway after five days of antibiotics and a course of (somewhat traumatic) physio administered by a doctor who hardly looked like he had even left school (boy did he make me feel old), Caty is finally out of the woods. But being at home with two sick kids over the course of two weeks… it was inevitable… yes, you guessed it… I spent the weekend in bed. And to make matters worse, my usually very involved husband is in the middle of a very stressful year-end and worked most of the weekend! All I can say is thank goodness for Granny and Papa, who swooped into my house and whisked my two kids off for the day, so that I could recover in peace. So now you see, a whole two weeks of bugs and viruses in our house, but we are finally on the road to recovery… until my husband gets it that is… Let's hold thumbs… and hope for the best, because I don't fancy pinning him to the bed… as much as he might enjoy it… * hehe * So I'm off to the chemist to arm my entire family with a good dose of immune boosters, so here's to a sick-free rest of the year!
Featured Article 1: Birthing Options Part I: Caregivers and Birthing Places
By Lana Peterson, Doula
CAREGIVERS
Obstetricians / Gynaecologists (OB/gyn)
The field of gynaecology deals with women's' reproductive health.
The field of obstetrics deals with “abnormal” pregnancies and deliveries.
In S.A. most women who can afford it, opt to attend an OB/gyn for their pre-natal care.
On the day of your labour, the OB/gyn will most likely only attend to you in the labour ward once or twice and will join you once the baby's birth is imminent, to deliver it. The hospital midwife usually attends to you in the interim and informs your doctor if you require further attention.
OB/gyn's are able to provide expert care in high-risk deliveries for baby's that need instrumental delivering (using either forceps or ventouse) and where a caesarean section is needed to deliver the baby, in cases such as breech presentation, foetal distress and multiples.
Some OB/gyn's will also assist with specialised procedures such as trying to turn a breech baby (ECV-external cephalic version) for a mother wishing to attempt a vaginal delivery. And in some instances a skilled obstetrician can attempt delivering a breech presenting baby. However less and less doctors are being trained in these highly specialised deliveries, so finding an OB/gyn to do this for you might be hard work.
The OB/gyn will remain with the mother for a short while after the baby's been born to deliver the placenta, check postnatal bleeding & attend to any perineal grazing /tearing. They will check you the day after your baby's been born and then again at 6 wks.
Midwives:
In an ideal world, all women should be cared for by a midwife through their pregnancy and labour, as these “special” women are often experts in the art of child birth and view pregnancy and birth as a normal and natural physiological human occurrence.
In cases where the pregnancy is regarded as “high-risk” (eg. multiples, diabetes or hypertension) a midwife can still provide midwifery care along with the expertise of an obstetrician / gynaecologist. The midwife will work in consultation with the ob/gyn, to offer the best holistic support for the expectant mum.
In S.A there are 2 types of midwives:
Hospital midwives and independent midwives.
Hospital midwives are midwives who work exclusively in a hospital setting, either in the private or public sector.
Midwives in the public sector are able to provide holistic care to the mother and newborn by managing the prenatal care, delivering the baby, postnatal care for the mother as well as providing neonatal care to the newborn.
Midwives in the private sector do not provide any pre-natal care for the mother and generally do not “deliver” the baby. She does however assist the mother during her stay at the hospital and is responsible for vital monitoring of the mothers' medical observations, which she will report on, to the relevant obstetrician as well as assist the OB/gyn during the delivery of the baby. She also supports the mother in the postnatal period in the hospital with breastfeeding as well as monitoring her medically.
Independent midwives have no affiliation to a specific medical institution and are therefore “employed” by the expectant couple. She offers all the prenatal care for the duration of the pregnancy (bp, urine checks, blood works, foetal heart tones, etc.) all the while monitoring the pregnancy for any “abnormalities” that may arise. She will refer each mum for the relevant scans and also for obstetric support either in the private or public sector.
Independent midwives are able to assist mothers with home, water & hospital births. Independent midwives stay with the mother for the duration of the labour and remain to assist with the baby's first breastfeed Their care also extends to the postnatal period where she's able to do home visits to assist with the demands of a being a new mum and help with breastfeeding.
Independent midwives fees are partially covered by most medical aids.
All midwives are required to refer high-risk pregnancies to obstetricians for case management but as mentioned before, she can still provide other expertise unique to their profession.
Doula's (childbirth companion)
Doula's are non-medical labour support persons skilled in the role of supporting women and their partners through the transition from pregnancy-to-birth-to-parents.
A doula is able to assist you with the emotional & physical preparations for your baby's birth such as assisting you with drawing up a realistic birth plan and helping you execute it effectively. Selecting a doula is a deeply personal choice and you might have to interview many doulas to find someone that you feel confidant with and supported by. She is after all going to be sharing in something immensely intimate with you and your loved ones. Worldwide research has shown that doula supported women have shorter labours, less need for pharmacological pain relief and less incidence in the requests for epidurals and fewer c/section births.
As with independent midwives, doulas are not affiliated with any specific medical institution but are employed by the couple. Expect to pay R1000 for doula services which should include at least 1 pre and postnatal visit as well as support for the duration of your labour and at least an hour after the baby has been born. Costs for a doula are not covered by medical aids as yet.
A doula can be part of your support team whether you are having a home, water, hospital or v.b.a.c. (vaginal birth after a caesarean section) with either an obstetrician or independent midwife.
BIRTHING PLACES
Active birthing units (ABU)
ABU's have been established to fill the need of pregnant women, to have a comfortable, homely setting with the safety of a hospital environment at their disposal. Here women are also encouraged to labour actively and use natural methods of pain relief. She is often attended to by a midwife from the ABU or she may choose to bring in her own independent midwife for her labour & birth. ABU's are designed with the comfort of the mother and her partner in mind, so in most cases these rooms have a double bed, birthing bath, labour balls, cd player, etc. Rooming- in of the mother, father & baby is encouraged. In the event of any complications that could arise, obstetric assistance is available on the same premises.
Candidates for ABU's need to be low-risk pregnancies.
Private hospitals
Private hospitals accommodate women with low to high risk pregnancies. In this setting women can be attended to by their OB/gyn (who is licensed to practice at that specific hospital) or independent midwife (as long as the back-up OB/gyn practices from that facility as well) Second to the public sector, most women deliver their babies in private hospitals for various reasons ranging from the need for reassurance that they are in a facility that can offer immediate obstetric assistance in the event of an emergency, to the need for privacy and avoidance of being subjected to “staff-in-training” .
It should be noted that S.A's private sector has an alarmingly high caesarean section rate (btwn 70-90%) Whatever the reason for this imbalance, women should be made aware, that when choosing to deliver at a private hospital, they're more likely to have a medically managed birth.
Public maternity hospitals
Most government hospitals have implemented the “better birth initiative” whereby women are encouraged to bring along labour support persons, have an active birth (labouring and birthing in positions conducive to best health practices) and not be restricted to nourishment and so on.
Statistics also show that the caesarean section rate in the public sector is significantly lower than those in the private sector – 20% (state) vs. between 70-90% (private) as is the use of pharmacological pain relief.
Because of the large volumes of patients utilising the public sector, you can expect longer waiting times and in some instances less time being attended to by the relevant staff.
Home
A birth at home can be an immensely empowering experience and women who choose this option do so for reason varying from wanting to avoid a repeat of a previous bad hospital experience, wanting to have complete autonomy during labour and birth, the safe & familiar setting of home, to the feeling of being uninhibited and unrestricted.
There is still a lot of misconception regarding the safety of homebirths and which women are suitable candidates for homebirths. Worldwide research has shown that homebirths done by skilled practitioners with good obstetric backing on “low-risk” pregnant women, have as safe and in some cases, safer outcomes. You will need to find an independent midwife to offer you this service and she will help you arrange the services of a back-up obstetrician in either the public or private sector as a precautionary measure should any complications arise during your pregnancy or labour. High-risk pregnancies should not be attempted in a homebirth setting.
Lana is a qualified Doula at Lalilu Doula Care. She can be contacted on 021 703 4291 or 073 514 9754. She can be emailed at lalilu@sybaweb.co.za.
Featured Article 2: Ten Reasons to Wear your Baby
From Emilia Knight of Rhubarb & Custard
1 . Wearing your baby allows for discreet breastfeeding in public areas & negotiating busy areas like airports & shopping malls.
2. The sling is in essence a "transitional womb" for the new baby
3. Babies worn in slings are happier and cry less.
4. Baby wearing is healthy for you. An excellent way to help a tired but over-stimulated child fall asleep & walk the dogs too!
5. Toddlers appreciate the security of the sling. A ride in the sling helps to sooth and comfort them. The pouch sling can be very helpful in places like the zoo & exhibits.
6. Baby-wearing helps you and your baby to communicate with eachother.
7. Slings are a bonding tool for fathers, grandfathers and other caregivers.
8. Slings are a safe place for a child to be. Instead of running loose in crowded or dangerous places, a child in a sling is held safe and secure right next to your body.
9. Slings are economical. Slings cost far less than strollers, front-carriers or backpacks.
10. Baby-wearing is fun. Your child will feel more a part of your life when she is in her sling, and you will find yourself becoming more and more enchanted with this special little person.
In 'Touching' by Ashley Montagu we learn that holding and rocking a baby has physiological and emotional benefits. Touching increases the baby's cardiac output, promotes respiration that in turn discourages lung congestion and helps the baby's gastrointestinal function. The movement of rocking often helps in digestion and absorption of food.
For more info on Emilia's slings see www.rhubarbandcustard.co.za.
Ask the Experts: Dealing with a hitting toddler
Q: I have a beautiful 22month old boy, Josh, who is going through a very worrying hitting/pushing phase. It has been quite prolonged, starting perhaps 4 months ago, and is really beginning to effect the places we can go, the friends we can socialise with and the stress levels we experience (I am also 37 weeks pregnant so I am really hoping to find a way of dealing with this so that it doesn't get worse when the baby comes). Mainly, as soon as he gets even remotely frustrated (a child is playing with a toy he wants, a child is doing something he doesn't like, or he is required to share something), his hands start instinctively flapping and lashing out and within seconds he is either hitting the other child, or pulling them over by grabbing their clothes harshly. On rare occasions, he even appears to use hitting to say 'hello'. He doesn't hit adults, he has no other siblings yet, and on the whole when he is not hitting he is a sensitive, affectionate, loving, placid little boy. People have been shocked when he hits because they think it seems so out of character. What we are currently doing about it (which isn't working): My husband and I have agreed early on that we don't want to use smacking as a form of discipline. So we use timeouts, which seem to work excellently for everything except this hitting problem. When he hits, we currently say "no hitting", restrict his hand, and try to distract him. If he hits again he has a 2 minute timeout. After the time out, we remind him the timeout was for hitting, and ask him to "show us what 'gentle' is" - where he then always cups our face and kisses us. He's then allowed to rejoin the activities, and it seems to have sunk in, but then minutes later he is hitting again. Please help me. He is getting a reputation and I am at my wits end with worry. Should I avoid public places for a while? But then how will he learn to assimilate?
Helen Gosnell, Parenting Expert Replies:
It sounds as though you and your husband are doing a good job. Unfortunately a lot of undesirable behaviour requires a lot of repetitive and consistent reaction until the message sinks in. Your instinct not to hit is also a good one. I am puzzled by the prevailing thought that hitting a child for hitting is a good cure. It only teaches that I can hit since I am bigger and I can hit when I lose control – exactly what you don't want to teach! I can understand your frustration at the situation since my son did exactly the same thing. The good news is that he is mostly out of the habit now (he is 7 in March) and only hits when he has really lost control. The basic message you need to teach your son is that hitting is an unacceptable form of venting frustration and the better method is to talk. “Talk don't hit” is an ongoing mantra in our home. A positive step in the right direction is for you to acknowledge the feelings behind the behaviour. So for example you could say: “Josh, I can see you are angry / sad / frustrated (chose the most appropriate) when Sarah takes your car away from you. It is not ok to hit her. Let's talk to Sarah to see how we can make things better.” Then go on to negotiate a swap / return of toy / taking turns etc. With the acknowledgement of his feelings, he may be in a better space to move on to other solutions. Eventually Josh will learn how to find these solutions by himself and will resort to these before hitting. This is not to say he won't still hit out when he is feeling tired or fed up. Distraction is fine but try not to use this too often – it is more appropriate for a much younger child who cannot find other solutions. Consider how you would feel if something had happened to you to make you feel angry and a friend told you not to think about it but to have some cake or talk about something else. Your final question as to whether you should keep your son away from other children – the answer is NO! True friends will not worry about your son's behaviour as a reflection of who he will become. They will help him learn the social skills he needs. If you are with him helping him to find a more acceptable way to problem solve, he will learn not to hit and push. You can do your part towards making meetings more successful by making sure he has enough to eat, that he is not tired or over scheduled and by allowing him to pack away very special toys before friends come into his space. Good luck.
Email your questions to sally@mumstheword.co.za or post them on the forum.
Quick Coffee Break: The Modern Chick
Thanks to Catherine Scott for this. Source Unknown.
For more quick funnies, prose and pictures, see the Coffee Break on www.mumstheword.co.za - and keep them coming to sally@mumstheword.co.za!
MTW Recommends: Rhubarb & Custard Slings
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A Rhubarb & Custard sling is a must-have for any new mom. I got mine when Caty was about three months old and still able to sleep in it. She fit very snuggly against my tummy, which put less strain on my back, and the rocking as I walked kept her sleeping through an entire Pick n Pay shop! And every time I where the sling I get stopped and asked "Where did you get that!" The great thing about this sling is that it grows with your baby - from cradle position at birth to a side-hip sitting position when they are toddlers. They are also custom made to fit you, which I really like, so I know that when I wear Caty that she is completely secure and won't slip out - but the disadvantage is that that Dad will need his own sling if he is going to carry baby around too! They come in a range of styles and colours with a handy little drawstring bag - and pack away so small that it's so easy to fit in your babybag, so that you can use it wherever you are. Rhubarb & Custard have also just introduced a playmat which converts into a handy bag - so you can carry your baby's toys around in the bag, and put him on it when you get to your destination. The bags are on special |
WINWINWIN! This Month's Giveaway!
A Bizzy Bodies Birthday Party
Bizzy Bodies Somerset West, a franchise of the Westlake branch, opened in October 2006, and offers an active play experience for children aged 9 months to 12 years with plenty of space to move around in a light and bright environment. There is always staff on the floor to supervise the children, providing a safe, secure play centre aimed entirely at getting children moving. The equipment at Bizzy Bodies is such that children are encouraged to jump and climb, run and ride, all of which help to improve circulation, balance, coordination and upper body strength. Equipment includes an inflatable bouncer, obstacle course, giant slide and large climbing structure. There is also a climbing wall, climbing ropes, trampolines, soccer and basketball nets and balls. Parents are able to enjoy coffee, tea and a bite to eat in the comfort of our coffee corner, while being able to keep an eye on their children. For more information on Bizzy Bodies Somerset West please contact Cecile on 021 852 2101 or 084 600 4681. Bizzy Bodies Somerset West is giving away a themed two-hour party for ten children to one lucky reader to the value of R900, which includes 1 Birthday cake, 10 Party Packs & 10 kiddies juices. To enter send an email with "Bizzy Bodies" in the subject line to sally@mumstheword.co.za before 31 March 2007 (please don't reply directly to this newsletter).
(Terms & Conditions: Refreshments for adults not included. Party for maximum of 10 children - additional children will be charged for at theme party rates. Prize valid for Bizzy Bodies Somerset West only. Prize valid for weekday parties only. Prize not transferable. Winners agree to be photographed & photo put up in reception. Bizzy Bodies will stipulate theme according to gender and age of prize winner. Prize valid until 31 December 2007. Judges decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.)
Two Rhubarb & Custard Slings
Rhubarb & Custard are giving away two slings to the value of R260 each! To enter send an email with "Sling" in the subject line to sally@mumstheword.co.za before 31 March 2007 (please don't reply directly to this newsletter).
Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!
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Winners! Congratulations to the following who won Kindersafe hampers : Rochelle Heynes, Shereen Henning, Santa Nel, Charnelle Davidse and Gafsah Davids. Your prizes will be with you shortly! For more information on Kindersafe contact Sandra on 0832359210. |
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Birthing companions Lana and Kerry invite readers to attend their weekly moms meets in Fishhoek and Tokai. Their next guest speaker in Tokai will be Suzanne Leighton, who'll be talking on the benefits of baby massage with a hands-on demonstration. Suzanne is a registered aromatherapist, reflexologist, reiki teacher & practitioner and yoga teacher, speciliasing in infertility, baby massage, post-natal depression & bi-polar disorder. For those of you with little ones, bring along your own oil and a towel to massage on, and for those of you whose little ones are yet to make an appearance into this world - come and see how easy it is and learn how the benefits of massage can still be achieved while you're pregnant. The meet takes place at the Tokai Library, Tokai Rd , on Wednesday the 7th of March 2007, 09H30 - 11H30 . Entrance fee R10 . Refreshments will be on sale from the library. Please RSVP: Kerry on 082 475 7776 or to find out more about the Fishhoek meets. |
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The cloth vs disposable nappy debate as well as a revisit to Birth Options! Post comments or questions on the message board at www.mumstheword.co.za - whatever grabs you! Your comments on MTW would also be hugely appreciated! |
In Closing…
It has taken me nearly a week to put this month's issue together, what with coping with the sick kids and my maid being off! And to top it, I have just finished my third antibiotic in two weeks! Just can't seem to get rid of this throat infection, but again I can't exactly stay in bed and recouperate now can I ! Let's hope that by this time next month everyone will be healthy and hubby's year end finished, then methinks it's time to plan another weekend away for two! Oh and on that note, we were thinking of taking the girls on a safari holiday in April or May - so if you have any suggestions on kid friendly game parks in driving distance from JHB (i.e. not more than two hours away and maleria free!) please send them to me - sally@mumstheword.co.za ! Maybe I will even compile a list to share with everyone, so send me your suggestions from all over SA!
Until next time…
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