NEWSLETTER - MAY 2005

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CONTENTS
Because I said so… your monthly column from the editor
Featured Article: Toddler Massage, by Erica Neser-Nieuwenhuis
Bookclub: Hester's Story by Adele Geras
Link up! Too busy / tired to surf the web? Check out this month's useful link!
Noticeboard: Your space!
In Closing...

Because I said so…

Welcome to the first ever issue of Mum's the word, hopefully the first of many. So where do I start? Well it's been 18 months since I joined the Mommy club - yes that club who's membership benefits include free access to stained shirts, spittle trails, upchuck and sagging eyelids - 'where do I sign?', I hear the uninitiated ask! In those 18 months I have seen time drag by at a rate akin to grass growing… and I have also seen it fly by like a supersonic jet as my little girl grows at the rate of knots! How did she get big so quickly?

There are three types of Mommy that come to mind… Firstly, there's the Executive Mom - busy busy busy, full time career, but still finding time to come home and create a replica of a typical Zulu village - to scale. I don't think I could ever find the organisation skills to be one of these moms - I struggle to remember who wants milk and who wants sugar - having asked just five minutes ago. Forget about heading up a board meeting! Then there is the Has it All Mom - part time job to keep them sane, but still taking time out to do all those mommy things - fetching and carrying, organising healthy meals (be them woollies or home cooked), refereeing sibling rivalry and taming toddler tantrums! Then there is the Stay at Home Mom - those of us who spend all day, every day, with our children. Some of us try and do the work from home thing… but with kids in the house, well we know how that works. No sooner have you sat down to do some work when toddler demands to sit on your lap and "help" - defined as pushing buttons on your laptop, windows flying open and closed, text being edited to "sdfkjesoih", and in my case, the "control" key being unceremoniously ripped off its spring - the School of Mommy did not go so far as to teach me hardware maintenance, so off it has stayed ever since. When childless friends ask "So what do you do at home all day?" (with a slight stress on the "all day" part - you know they are imagining baby perched glamorously on one knee, a Cosmo on the other, while you have your nails buffed as you enjoy your low-cal latté). It becomes hard to explain how you can spend an entire day chasing after a toddler, trying to keep them fed, bottled, bathed, burped, slept and entertained - sometimes the hardest part of the job! Never mind the shopping that needs to be done (can't run out of fishfingers or chicken nuggets can we!), the veggies that need to be pureéd (thank goodness I don't have this problem - my monkey won't touch anything vaguely mushy), the bottles that need to be washed, supper cooked, etc. etc. But this doesn't sound very glamorous at all! So the stock reply escapes our mouths: "Oh you know, we keep ourselves busy! Doing Mommy Baby things!"

But of course we all know, no matter what category we fit into, that we would never change it for anything in the world! Through all the sleepless nights, walking up and down passages trying to get baby to sleep, cleaning up upchuck and changing nappies, dealing with the tantrum that comes with removing something off limits - nothing can compare to the tiny arms around your neck and the soft cheek nuzzled into your shoulder, the open mouthed gobby kisses, the discovery of a new word, and my favourite, the sweetly called "Mummmmeeeee" first thing on waking up (yes, even at 6 am, having been woken up two hours before).

So this newsletter is dedicated to all you moms out there, united at 3 in the morning doing bottle / breast brigade, comparing eating / sleeping / toilet habits, and proudly relating what baby did next - in more detail than a non-mommy would care to hear! Here's to us - and please feel free to send your suggestions or contributions to this newsletter to me, just as soon as you are finished with those wetwipes!

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Featured Article: Toddler Massage
By Erica Neser-Nieuwenhuis, Infant Massage Instructor, author of Baby Sleep Guide and mother of three (including a toddler). Published in Your Baby Magazine, January 2005.

Massage is known for its healing and balancing powers. It can be beneficial for everyone - from very young to very old. Hippocrates, regarded as the father of modern medicine, said in the fourth century BC, "The way to health is to have an aromatic bath and scented massage every day." Not many of us can afford to go for a massage every day (or even every month), but to give your child a regular massage costs nothing and can be immensely enjoyable for both of you. This article focuses primarily on massage for toddlers (for the purpose of this article, children from one to four years old).

Benefits

	Relaxation - Toddlers' lives can be very frustrating because they want to do more than their skills allow. Massage can be helpful in easing their stress and helping them (and you!) unwind after a busy-busy-busy day.
	Bonding - Toddlers can be extremely demanding. Massage can help restore harmony between parent and child and strengthen their mutual bond. It allows focused attention on your little one - real quality time.
	Stimulation - Massage aids digestion, stimulates the nervous and immune systems, promotes blood circulation and improves suppleness and skin texture.
	Relief - Massage can help promote regular sleep patterns, and ease common complaints such as tummy ache, constipation, and growing pains.

Tips For Massaging Toddlers

	If you have been massaging your little one since birth, you may find it hard to 'let go' of the massage routine that has worked so well until now.
	Toddlers like to call the shots. Make him feel like he is in charge of the action.
	Toddlers love saying NO. It helps to give them some choices, such as, "Would you like me to massage your legs or your back tonight?"
	Get dad in on the action - include some physical rough and tumble wrestling games (even though this isn't really massage, it is still physical closeness and touch). Not too wild before bed time, though!
	Allow your toddler to massage you sometimes. It can also be an expression of his love for you. Give him a tiny amount of aqueous cream rather than oil. Lie back and enjoy your turn. Feet and back work best. Let him improvise with "techniques."

When To Massage

	Bathtime: Massage your toddler while he is sitting in the bath. You can sing, "This is the way we wash our arms…" while rubbing soap into his arms with firm strokes.
	Bedtime - Storytime: Bedtime is probably the most suitable time. A relaxed child is usually calmer, goes to sleep more easily and generally sleeps better. It also gives you a chance to spend some quiet minutes with him. Blend a story and massage - children love it!
	Anytime - Massage On The Run: Be opportunistic - if your little one has bumped his head, sit him on your lap and gently stroke the bruise, or whatever part is at hand. Massage him while looking at pictures with your little one. Even if it is just half a minute of positive, loving touch, it counts!

How To Massage

	Oil - Use a natural oil such as grapeseed or sweet almond oil. Cream, gel and lotion can also be used.
	How Long? Anything from 20 seconds to 20 minutes, depending on your child's personality and mood at that particular time.

Legs & Arms

	Wrap your hand around his thigh, then slide your hand towards his ankle. Repeat with your other hand, one hand following the other in a smooth rhythm.
	Rub the soles of his foot from heel to toes with your thumbs, using firm pressure. Rub each toe (This Little Piggy).
	Roll his leg between the palms of your hands.

Tummy

	Make paddling strokes on his tummy, with flat hands, from rib line to hips.
	Make clockwise circles on his tummy, using flat fingertips.

Chest

Place your hands flat on his chest, then stroke outwards and back to your starting position (in a heart shape).

Back

	Same as chest.
	Place your hands across his back and stroke in opposite directions.
	Comb with firm fingers from neck to bum.

General Massage Tips

	Ask your child's permission before you begin.
	Use firm pressure. It is more calming than light stroking.
	Use long, smooth, slow movements.
	Repeat each stroke a few times.

For more info on Erica's Baby Sleep Guide (an excellent book - more info in the next issue), see www.adept.co.za/~erica or phone Erica on 083 292 5252.

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Bookclub: Hester's Story by Adele Geras

This easy read is perfect rainy day fare. This is the story of prima ballerina Hester, her difficult childhood and her transformation into a world renowned star - until her world is shattered by a love affair gone wrong and an injury which forces her off the stage. Hester picks up the pieces of her life and opens a theatre, and a further story unfolds in the lives of the performers in the current production. The tale is told through two parallel stories - Hester's childhood as comes under the spotlight to fame, and later as she heads into retirement with her present production, tying up with a lovely (although predictable towards the end) conclusion. A non taxing read for those who enjoy a good story. Get your copy from Kalahari.net here.

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Link up! This month's link: www.babysense.co.za

For all those tired mom's in need of solutions, have a look at this website by renowned baby specialists Meg Faure and Ann Richardson. Buy baby related products (slings, swaddling blankets, videos, etc.) or post your baby related queries on the noticeboard. I personally can highly recommend the Babysense book - an invaluable aid in dealing with baby's first year - particularly the fussy, colicy baby (such as I had!). Meg Faure was in fact the only specialist (and I saw a few) who finally helped me get my baby to sleep at all!

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Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!

	Tots Takkies are having a special on takkies, for only R65. Sizes are limited so hurry to avoid disappointment! Click here for pictures. Gumboots also available. For more info call Sally on 083 298 6489.
	A great place to take the kids is Imhoff Farm in Kommetjie, Cape Town. Visit the farmyard and see ducks, rabbits, goats and an enormous pig (to name a few!), or fascinate them with a trip through the reptile park. Or simply take time out and enjoy a cup of tea in the enclosed tea-garden while the kids run around. Other attractions include pony rides, farm stalls, craft shops, a restaurant and even camel rides. For more info call Imhoff on (021) 783-4545 or see www.naturefarm.co.za.
	Hey moms get into shape with the latest craze in Belly Dancing! It's great fun and really reminds you that you are a sensual woman underneath all that nurturing! For classes in Cape Town see www.bellydancing.co.za - visit the links page for info on other teachers around the country. Hey you might even spot a picture of me in the gallery!
	Check out www.kidsemporium.co.za - the designer experience for designer kids! Based in Killarney Gardens, Cape Town, this store offers a range of designer kids products, from shoes to bedding to furniture, books, teddies - you name it! They also offer a gift registry service for baby showers - so if you are expecting pop down and register your goodies! For more info email Lauren.

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In Closing…

I hope you enjoyed the first issue of Mum's the Word! I know it looks quite plain at the moment with no pics or anything, but I am trying to keep filesize down to help those at home working on dial-ups! Should there be a demand in time I might consider putting a larger version online with pics to visit when you have time! I would love to hear your comments or suggestions, so please keep them coming to sally@kangacreations.co.za - and article or column submissions are always welcome!

Until next time…

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