NEWSLETTER - OCTOBER 2006

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CONTENTS
Ed's Note
Special Announcement! Website Changes!
Because I said so… your monthly column from the editor
Featured Article 1: The Doula, by Kerry Pienaar, Doula & Lactation Consultant
Featured Article 2: Why I chose a Doula, by Lisa Wilson  
Quick Coffee Break: Why toddlers and permanent markers don't go!
Link up: Babylite
MTW Recommends: Baby Sense Sling
Giveaways Galore! See what's on offer this month
Noticeboard: Your space
In Closing...

Ed's Note

What a task trying to get this month's issue done! I have suddenly found out how time consuming having two children is! Every time I sit down at my computer to start writing, one of them demands my attention! I used to work on my newsletter and website while Megan was at school, but of course with baby in the house I have another distraction - and this baby does not sleep in her cot in the day... oh no, she has to sleep on Mommy! Her favourite place to fall asleep is in my arms, and if I put her down she's awake in two minutes, and if I sit down with her in the sling and try to type, she wiggles until I pat her back to sleep - so there goes my free hands to type! So needless to say the only time I get to work is at night when they are asleep... and I am earth-shatteringly exhausted! Let's hope when Caitlin is big enough to plonk on a blanket with some toys to keep her busy, I can get things on track again! I have so many great ideas for the future of Mum's the Word that I hope I get the time to implement them all... so watch this space! Finally, please also see my notice at the bottom about possible self-defence workshops - it is so important to learn to protect and defend yourself, so if you are interested please mail me asap!

Special Announcement: New on Mums the Word!

One of the things I want to work on is growing the Mum's the Word website into something that you can for all your needs... and I am proud to announce the first development in that line - the Experts page! I have rounded up a couple of people who are there to answer all your questions - from sleep to parenting to breastfeeding to health issues - just send your question and state which expert you want to ask and we will send it onto the relevant expert and post the answer on the website. See www.mumstheword.co.za and click on the Experts link and get those questions in! You will also see a new heading in the contents of this newsletter - the Mum's the Word Recommends section - which I want to use to highlight a product or service that has really changed my life  or that I see a real future in! I aim for this section to be completely honest and personal - and not paid for by the supplier. If you want to recommend something or if you are a business that you feel has something to offer, please email me the details - sally@mumstheword.co.za.  Finally, I have also enhanced the Message Forum - I see quite a few people have joined but are not posting yet - I have now added a number of new general discussion forums, so you don't necessarily have to post a child-related question onto the board. You can now chat about anything under the sun - be it your favourite book, somewhere child-friendly you have been, or even just to have a good moan about something! Have a look at the forum and get those fingers typing! If you have any suggestions for new categories please post them on the forum!

Because I said so…

It is true when they say that baby number two is a whole lot easier… as a mom you are a whole lot more confident in your abilities, and stress less when baby cries… after all, they won't break! But having baby number two comes with one extra factor that makes it a whole lot harder at the same time… baby number one! With a very busy toddler to cope with at the same time as a newborn baby… well it's no surprise why they call this the hardest job in the world!

The other night I was trying to bath both baby and toddler at the same time… mistake number one! It's fine when dad is there to help – he takes the one and I do the other, but he was working late and I wanted to get at least baby in bed before he got home. I got them both in the bath – well Megan pretty much gets herself in, sitting in the big bath while baby Caitlin sits on her Kango chair in the baby-bath (which sits on the big bath). Caty was quite happy enjoying her bath, so I decided to quickly wash Megan before I took Caty out. Mistake number two!

Now for some reason Megan does not equate bathing with getting clean – either that or she was just in an otherwise mood – and she started yelling at me for trying to wash her. She suddenly let out the most enormous, spine shattering shriek that pierced my grown-up ears, so you can imagine what it was for a tiny baby! Poor Caitlin demonstrated textbook moro reflex, before going purple in the face and letting rip with a scream that could compete with the Concorde breaking the sound barrier! I of course yelled at Megan for shrieking like a banshee (yet another mistake – I was on a roll!), which in turn set her off in floods of tears! So there I was sitting on my knees leaning over the bath, trying to pacify a screaming baby and a yelling drama queen, ready to shout a few choice words myself!

I wrenched poor Caty out of the bath, soaking my skirt in the process (which I had to enjoy stuck to my legs for the next hour while I got her down), as Megan's world fell to pieces while being ignored by Mommy. I took Caty to the bedroom, crying coming full force in stereo, and covered her with a towel, before rushing back to get Meg out the bath, dumping her unceremoniously on the bed and ordering her to get dressed (thank goodness for pull-up nappies!). I finally got Caty dressed and sent Megan to her room to play with “Daddy's toy”, while I spent the best part of the next hour trying to get Caitlin down – thank goodness Daddy arrived home shortly after I settled Megan in her room! (a tip – save a really special toy for this time of day while you are trying to get baby to sleep and need to distract toddler! And of course because it ‘belongs to Daddy' then it's even more special that she gets to play with it!).

Anybody with a toddler will know that one of the hardest things for a toddler to do is to keep quiet! It's just in their nature to be loud and boisterous! Even after explaining over and over that “give me ten minutes of quiet time with baby while I get her down, then I can spend an hour with you before bed. But if you keep coming in and making a noise, then I have to start all over again!” Yet this seems to fall on deaf ears more often than not… The other night after getting Caty down I decided to quickly jump in the shower – with the lights off mind you as the bathroom light would shine right in her face – secure in the knowledge that Megan was the other end of the house with Daddy. No sooner had I got in the water than I heard the bathroom door handle being wrenched off its hinges, door being flung open, light switched on and a declaration of “Mommy, you in the shower!”. Of course this was followed by me begging her quietly to shut the door before you wake Baby Sister (she doesn't have a name according to Megan) and praying that hubby would come take her back to the lounge. Anyway thank goodness she didn't wake baby – what would we do without our white noise CD cranked up full blast?

But of course I wouldn't want to change anything about my two girls! Megan will always be loud and Caty will always have her moments of screaming – maybe a volume control occasionally would be nice! And maybe a time device too… just to stop the clock for an hour a day for some more “me” time (as it is I'm typing this during CSI – the only time I have to myself the whole day!). And while we are at it… an extra pair of arms… self cooking food… a personal page turner… on-site masseuse… *sigh* Dream on, Mommy, dream on…

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Featured Article 1: The Doula
By Kerry Pienaar - Doula & Lactation Consultant

“If a Doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it” – John Rennel

What is a Doula?

The word Doula is a Greek Word meaning “in the service of women”

• The Doula is professionally trained in and believes in the birth process and a woman's ability to birth
• A Doula helps women with the pain of labour
• A Doula stays with the parents to be constantly, keeping the technology of birth away as the main focus
• Doula's are not there to take away the importance of the partner's role, a Doula is a support person to both parents and a member of the birthing team
• The Doula's role is a nurturing, encouraging, positive role and Doula's strive to keep labour and birth calm, positive and an awe-inspiring experience!

Does Labour Support really make a difference?

Klaus,Kennell and Klaus (1993) reported many benefits of having labour support:

• Results of 6 different studies showed that the presence of a doula reduces the overall Caesarean rate by 50%, the length of labour by 25%, Oxytocin use by 40% and requests for epidurals by 60%.
• Reduction in labour, due to fewer stress hormones being produced in the labouring woman's body and more upright, active postions being used.
• Postnatally, mothers showed more affectionate interaction with their baby, including more stroking, talking, smiling than the moms without doula's.
• The nurturing and empowerment that occurs through the labour support, makes the mom feel better about herself.

What do Doula's Do?

• Doula's help and encourage mom to deal with labour as best she can.
• The Doula aids mom in finding her inner strength to cope with labour. She uses techniques such as kind words, touch, massage, relaxation methods, active movement, praise and reassurance, water, aromatherapy etc etc etc!
• Doula's encourage, praise and comfort moms that labour is not something to fear, that it is pain with a purpose!
• Doula's can act as an advocate for the parents with the medical staff
• Doula's are trained to understand all aspects of labour and birth and can explain procedures to you clearly and at ease.
• Doula's encourage the fathers to support the moms and can act as a relief for the dads.
• Can assist with the birth plan, and help parents to make informed decisions
• Provide as much information as the parents require surrounding labour and birth
• Able to take picture's of the labour and birth
• Trained to care for the mother and child postnatally if required, as well as much assistance with initiating breastfeeding.

How much do Doula's Cost?

The standard fee for doula's is R1000. This includes one pre-natal visit and one post-natal visit, as well as the entire labour and birth support, and the doula's wealth of knowledge! Some doula's also offer pre/post natal massage at an additional cost, and postnatal home visits are usually in the region of R100 per visit.

** Please note this fee is just a guideline and may vary in your area **

For more info or questions, please contact Kerry Pienaar (Doula & Lactation Consultant)

021 785-3694 / 082 475 7776 E-mail: tums2tots@telkomsa.net

Bibliography: All About Doula's; Sandy White, IJCE Vol.13 No 2

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Featured Article 2: Why I chose a Doula
By Lisa Wilson

Why we decided to have a doula:

Having had my first baby in hospital a couple of years ago, there were certain things that I hoped would be different the second time around.  I definitely felt that my husband and I could benefit from some additional support during the first stage of labour i.e. before the obstetrician arrives to deliver the baby.  When our first baby was born the midwife on duty was running between us and another patient who'd come in at the same time as us – and I didn't want a repeat of that.  I think it was a case of either opting to have a midwife deliver our baby or have doula support but keep our obstetrician.  We opted for the latter.  Our obstetrician was quite comfortable with our decision to have a doula present.

How we chose our doula:

Most importantly, our doula needed to support the hypnobirth that we were preparing for and Lana, our doula, came recommended by our hypnobirthing instructor.  We met her, and I felt confident that she would be totally supportive of the hypnobirthing process. 

Our experience and the benefits:

Lana took control of many of the little things that contributed to making my labour easier.  Her experience with birthing meant she just seemed to know what was needed without being asked.  She was the one who offered me a hot water bottle, and a lavender scented cloth to wipe my forehead.  She talked me through the surges using the hypnobirthing visualizations and gave wonderful back massages. 

We were asked shortly after the birth, whether having a doula present undermined my husband's role in the birth.  That was not our experience.  Their contributions were different, but equally important and I certainly couldn't have done it without him.  I think that the benefit to him was when it came time for baby to be born, he was thinking clearly and could experience the birth fully, appreciate the moment, cut the cord etc. 

I do believe that having a doula present gave me peace of mind until the obstetrician arrived, it meant that I could focus solely on birthing my baby with the quiet reassurance that my every need was being met, and my husband was free to experience the birth in his own way without feeling he had to be doing something all the time or worrying what had to be done next.

Would I recommend it:

I would definitely recommend having doula support, specifically to those women who are not having a private midwife.  I believe that our doula (together with our obstetrician) was really instrumental in enabling us to have the birth experience we hoped for. However, I guess it's a personal thing.  It worked for us.

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Quick Coffee Break: Why toddlers and black markers don't go

Nuff said!

For more quick funnies, prose and pictures, see the Coffee Break on www.mumstheword.co.za - and keep them coming to sally@mumstheword.co.za!

Link up - www.babylite.co.za

Ever tried to travel with a baby - and all the stuff that goes with one?   P rams, car seats, cots –   the list is endless, and trying to carry all this along with baby, and your own luggage - virtually impossible.  Three South Africans  based in Cape Town , Johannesburg and London have come up with a brilliant solution   - Don't carry  it – hire it! Babylite  will organise  whatever you need to make travelling with baby or toddler  – You will be met on arrival with all the equipment you requested, including those bulky disposal nappies, heavy tins of formula and countless other items which make travelling by plane such a hassle. Contact Gareth Davies service@babylite.co.za and look at their website www.babylite.co.za for the wide range of necessities they offer. Less weight in your luggage, more room to take home souvenirs of your trip! Babylite – Less Luggage, Less Fuss.

P.S.: Don't forget to add your views on anything and everything to the forum on www.mumstheword.co.za!

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MTW Recommends: Baby Sense Sling

Those of you who know me know that I am a big fan of all things Baby Sense. Maybe I am a little biased, as Meg Faure, co-author of the book Baby Sense, was the only person who could actually help me with my first baby, who was colicky and sensory and screamed non-stop! I remember at the time she recommended I get a sling – but couldn't tell me where to get one ! Well obviously she saw a gap in the market, and has since launched her own branded sling. I tell you – I wish I had this when Megan was a baby! I carry Caitlin around in it all the time – it takes her minutes to settle  when she's fussy, and she sleeps like a dream when she's in it. And best of all – my hands are free, and if she is asleep it's easy to take the  sling off and put her down in it as is (unlike the Kango pouch which has lots of fiddly clips and

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WINWINWIN! This Month's Amazing Giveaways!

Babydays Calendar Guides


The Babydays Calendar Guide was born out of the realisation that remembering the details of precious moments with your baby is not always possible, unless recorded. This day-by-day diary assists busy parents by ensuring they capture special memories as they occur in the space provided and helps them to be more organised in their daily lives. Babydays combines practical information and activities including useful toys to make, useful ideas to stimulate baby's senses, and various charts and a guide to age appropriate toys for baby. This keepsake is available in both pink and blue from selected baby clinics, and can be ordered online at www.babydays.co.za for R50.50 including postage (within SA). For more info contact Erica Streicher at 082 394 8807. Babydays is giving away a calendar to four lucky readers! To enter send your details and choice of blue or pink to sally@mumstheword.co.za  with "Calendar" in the subject line before 30 October 2006 (please don't reply directly to this newsletter).

Stegi Swim Nappy

Stegi Swim Nappies have the look and feel of an ordinary costume, are delightful to the eye, and are reliable in keeping “little accidents” in. This is  important if your baby is going for swim lessons or using a public swimming pool. The Swim Nappy has three layers of fabric: A 100% cotton inner  layer to ensure that a natural fabric touches your baby's skin, a wonderfully colourful outer layer for boys and girls, and most importantly, an inner layer made from the same hydrophilic polyurethane as that used for the Stegi EcoNappy nappy cover. This

Baby Sense Womb to World CD's

I was involved in the market research for this CD - and it has been playing non-stop in our bedroom since I got my sample copy! The white noise  calms baby when she is fussing, and helps her sleep better - in fact we have got so used to the background noise that we can't sleep without it!  The CD is made up of white noise - a continuous heartbeat with various other sounds fading in and out, such as womb noises, running water,  wind and a fan. Like the colour

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Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!

	We have a winner! Congrats to Nereshnee Elijah who was the lucky winner of the R150 massage voucher. For more info on baby massage contact Joanne Bradley at  joannebradley@global.co.za.
	Do you know what to do if attacked? How to react in a hijack situation? I am wanting to host a self defence workshop on a Saturday morning in Cape Town, incorporating tips on how to protect yourself and your children, but I need numbers to make the workshop viable. Please email me if you would be interested in attending.
	I have  entered both Megan and Caitlin (Hetherington) in an online competition, but the winners are selected via public vote! So I need your help! If you think my kids are as gorgeous as I do (well I am biased of course!) then please vote on my behalf! Click on the following links to do so: http://www.fun4kidz.co.za/kiddies_of_the_year_2006/koty_2006_babies1.php http://www.fun4kidz.co.za/kiddies_of_the_year_2006/koty_2006_toddlers1.php
	Next issue:  We will be talking about the dreaded tantrum. Post any questions or issues that you feel need to be discussed on the message board at www.mumstheword.co.za - whatever grabs you! Your comments on MTW would also be hugely appreciated!

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In Closing…

Another month come and gone - my baby girl another month older! Amazing. Apologies for this month's edition being a bit late - but Caty has decided to attach herself to me and getting down to work is quite a task - and to top it off just when I was getting ready to get this done I was stuck down with a bad cold and spent three days in bed. My doctor says it's no suprise considering how little rest I am getting! But a good dose of antibiotics and a permanent multi-vitamin should see me through to next month, so keep those emails coming and those messages posted to the forum!

Until next time…

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