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NEWSLETTER
- OCTOBER / NOVEMBER 2007
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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES
CONTENTS
Ed's Note
Because I said so… your monthly column from the editor
Featured Article: Fussy Babies and Post Natal Depression, by Megan Faure
Ask the Experts: Parenting Expert Helen Gosnell answers a question on weaning from a nighttime nappy
Gold Stars & Black Marks: See who gets them this month!
Quick Coffee Break: Stress relievers for mommies
Sippy Cup Feedback:
See what other readers had to say
Noticeboard: Your space
In Closing...
You must all be wondering what on earth happened to me and my newsletter! Wow, I have been so busy lately I don't know my elbows from my nose! My other (paying!) business has been inundated with work and with two small children in the house, well you can imagine how much I manage to get done in a day! And add to that the complete organisation and planning of a surprise 40th anniversary party for my parents (including buying the perfect dress mind you!)... AND top that with having to make... count them... TEN butterfly wings for Megan's ballet concert (a bigger job than I realised)... well something had to give way and unforutunately my newsletter was it! But the good news is that most of my work is out the way (for now), the party was a huge success, and the wings are almost finished. Now just Megan's birthday to get through (can you believe she's nearly four already?) and we will be back on track!
Otherwise not much else to report, apart from Caty now having a grand total of seven teeth (and possibly another one on the way judging by her mood), oh and we discovered over the weekend that unlike her big sister, Caty just doesn't do shopping malls. All future Christmas shopping will be done sans kids. I am tired of exasperated looks from childless people and having to run around looking for popcorn and toilets!
Finally, there are no giveaways this month. No don't look at me like that... just wait, as the December issue is around the corner. And you know what that means. I'm very busy emailing back and forth trying to organise some great giveaways for you so watch this space!
(Ed's note: I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, having every intention of getting my newsletter out on time, so forgive the old references to the RWC, and join me in a big "GO BOKKE!!!")
I am sitting writing this on the couch, computer on my lap (don't worry, my husband makes sure I put a cushion under the laptop to protect my fertility and all that, although what I need my fertility for after two kids I don't know, but I digress…) with the first game of the Rugby World Cup on the TV. Yes, as the dedicated wife, you would think I would actually be watching. I hear the odd comment from my hubby next to me, am told to look up at the bloody face, but more than that? Well maybe when South Africa plays I might actually keep my eyes on the screen for a few minutes, provided I am plied with beer (Peroni mind you, not just something cheap and nasty) and chips, but honestly, the last time I really followed rugby was when Corne was captain and Bobby was the flavour of the day… and the Stormers actually won a few matches… It's going to be a long four weeks.
| But you would think that after nearly four years of motherhood, I would be used to having the TV monopolised. In the first few years of marriage, I allowed my husband to think he was in control. But he has come to respect the fact that she who has the remote, rules the household. Gilmore Girls versus Two Wheels ? Forget it Babe, the lives of Rory and Lorelai are FAR more important, and interesting (have you ever watched Two Wheels ? It's mind numbing). Desperate Housewives versus Top Gear ? No contest (although I don't mind watching a bit of Richard Hammond every now and then…). And as for Seventh Heaven versus The Long Way Round? Okay, sorry all you many many irritatingly perfect Camdons… nothing beats Ewan MacGregor… on a bike… in a bike suit. Oh dear, I'm losing control of the remote! Although I had to laugh the other day when my husband asked if I was going to record Brothers & Sisters while we went out to the movies! |  Okay so maybe a bit hairy at the end... but still, it's Ewan... |
[Oops… apparently my lack of rugby mania is going to be a problem. My husband just left the room for about 37 seconds and they scored a try… and I was paying absolutely no attention. After all, I have a newsletter to get out!]
But back to the remote control issue. Yes, I had control over it… until Megan turned two. It was a gradual process. After all, I swore I would never be one of those mums who relied on the TV to babysit. So yes, the odd Teletubbies DVD, and maybe an episode of Barney. No KTV or Cartoon Network for my impressionable little girl. Nosiree. That was then. While KTV and Cartoon Network are still banned (have you ever actually watched some of that stuff? It's pretty scary!), Megan is the firm holder of the remote control. In other words, ruler of the house. The first words when she wakes up are “Mommy I want CeeBeeBees!” And when she gets home from school? “Mommy I want a DVD.” When I was her age there was no such thing as satellite television or DVD's! And I certainly didn't ask my mom to “please push pause” if I quickly wanted to go to the toilet. But it can't be all bad right? I mean, I can't be the only mom who knows the entire Big Cook Little Cook theme song (with actions)? And know that Roly Mo comes straight after, followed by Binka and Teletubbies…
 Nobody puts Baby in the corner... |
But I have a secret weapon. The one she doesn't know about. I call it… PVR: “Personal Video Recorder”. I can set and record to my heart's content. I can watch the “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” scene from Dirty Dancing over and over! I can record movies that my husband would never submit his testosterony male eyes to… The Notebook, Memoirs of a Geisha, and yes, Dirty Dancing! And I can even record all those cooking shows I never get to watch: Jamie, Ainsley, Gordon, James, and other James (the cute Irish one… no the other cute Irish one)… and then those cool MTV specials that take me back to my teenage years… Rock Top Ten, Rock Weekend, Hits of the 90's… Now if only I could find five |
But I know what will happen when I finally find those five minutes. I will settle back on the couch, cup of tea in one hand, remote in the other, and hit “Playlist”… Barbie & the 12 Dancing Princesses, Finding Nemo, Tigger's Big Movie, Madagascar, Shark Tale… wait I see a pattern emerging. And so I realise, my place as holder of the remote, queen of the house, has forever been usurped… I will meekly put the remote back, waiting for its rightful owner to take possession, and I return back to my domain… after all, those bottles are not going to wash themselves…
Featured Article: Fussy Babies - What's the Fuss?
by Megan Faure of Baby Sense
Ask any mom who has paced the floor for three hours soothing a colicky, crying baby how she feels and you are likely to hear the following words: desperate, hopeless, helpless, teary and at a loss. Ask a woman suffering with postnatal depression how she feels and you are likely to hear: desperate, hopeless, helpless, teary and at a loss. The question is, do PND and colic share more common ground that mere semantics?
Colic or unexplained early infant crying affects many babies in the first three months of life. The crying typically begins by two weeks old and by six weeks old the baby is crying up to three hours a day, more than three days of a week. For many babies it is even worse than this but luckily there is hope, as ‘normal' colic dissipates by twelve to fourteen weeks old.
PND: Recent stats show that up to 85% of mothers experience some form of mood disruption in the weeks following their baby's birth. Ranging from tearfulness to feelings of despair, these feelings normally resolve within a few weeks. In its more severe form, however, it's called post natal depression (PND). PND can appear within three months of the baby's arrival and last for up to 18 months, interfering with a mother's ability to properly care for her child. Up to 18% of moms may suffer from PND.
Research by the University of Toronto shows that there's a direct link between PND and fussy (abnormal attention-seeking) babies. The first year of a baby's life is a period of major transition and turmoil for many mothers. According to the university's findings, PND is related to how often a baby cries and whether it wakes more than three times during the night.
Whether or not you label your emotions as postnatal depression or in fact are diagnosed with this condition, a fussy baby will lead to feelings of despair. The important thing is to manage both the colic and the potential PND.
Colic:
Calming a crying baby is not an easy task, especially when you are coping on your own. Try the following strategies to help calm your baby:
• Read your baby's signals to determine when they are becoming over stimulated and fussy. Sucking vigorously on her hands, looking away and arching the back may all be signals that your baby is over stimulated.
• Remove your baby from a stimulating environment and help her settle to sleep to avoid over stimulation.
• Swaddle your baby to calm her and make sure she remains asleep for longer stretches.
• If your baby won't settle to sleep once swaddled, hold her in a sling or pouch. Keep her against your body until she is calm. Do not worry about spoiling a colicky baby as your baby is young and does not learn bad habits at this young age.
• Stick to one strategy for 5 minutes as changing calming strategies and over feeding an already fussy baby can also contribute to overestimation and further crying.
Postnatal Depression
If your baby is very fussy and not sleeping well and you suffer from any of the symptoms below, seek help . The Postnatal Depression Support Association of South Africa provides education and information to health professionals and care providers and to the public. You will find support and appropriate referrals by contacting PNDSA or speaking to your doctor.
If you feel:
• Out of control, frustrated and very irritable
• Anxious and worried most of the time
• Scared or panicky
• Sad or miserable
• Unable to laugh or to feel joy
• Unable to cope
• Afraid to be alone
• Unusually tearful
• As though you are going crazy
If you have:
• Difficulty in sleeping
• No sex drive
• Thoughts about harming yourself or your baby
You may be suffering from postnatal depression.
Please seek help.
Tel: PNDSA (Postnatal Depression Support Association) Help line: (021) 797 4498
Ask the Experts: Weaning from a Night-time Nappy
Q: I have a 3 and half year old daughter who has been off daytime nappies and bottles and the dummy for a few months now already. About 5 weeks ago I decided it was time to ditch the nappies for night time and make her feel like she's a big girl now and she was very excited about this! This all started off very well and I thought it was going to be easier than I imagined, but boy was I mistaken. On average now there is about one or two nights a week when she doesn't wet her bed. I have tried stopping her liquids for at least an hour before bed time, I have tried telling her she will get a present, I have even tried telling her the washing machine is broken so I can't wash her sheets! I make a point of not getting upset with her because I know this must be a big transition she is going through and yet I still hear her telling her dad in the early hours of the morning that he mustn't tell mommy that she wet her bed. And that in turn makes me feel as if I am doing something wrong and incredibily guilty for whatever reason. She has been at the same school for 2 years already so I can't think of any disruption or anxiety she could be feeling. Are there any suggestions anyone can give me? Does this take a few months for the bladder control to set in? I would just like to know what to expect and if this is normal or if I should buy some more sheets in the meantime so I don't have to wash them every day….Please help!
A: Helen Gosnell, Parenting Expert Replies:
You are worrying unnecessarily at this point. The time to start worrying is around 5 years old (and only if your daughter is still wetting her nappy every night). It is entirely normal for night time dryness to take a lot longer to get right than day time dryness. Think of it – they are asleep for about 12 hours. It is an awfully long time to hold in a wee. My advice is to wait until your daughter starts talking about staying off the nappies at night. Let her be the initiator. If she starts saying nappies are for babies or she is a big girl now, she is more likely to go along with any plans to help her stay dry. Step back, take off any pressure (this tends to cause more accidents and wears down their self esteem) and let nature takes its course. It will be a lot less stressful on all of you and you will be able to rest easy at night knowing that you won't all be disturbed by needing to change bedding and PJs in the middle of the night.
Here are some signs that they may be getting ready to take off the nappies:
- Your daughter starts becoming distressed by finding herself wet at night (not because mum will be cross but because it embarrasses her)
- She is able to stay dry for 4 hours at least during the day
- She is waking up to go to the toilet by herself over night ( I would often find an empty nappy next to the toilet in the morning)
- Her nappies are dry most mornings (My daughter at about 4 ½ was finally able to manage 5 or so nights in a row of dry nappies before we felt comfortable in allowing her to try without nappies – my son was about the same)
When your daughter has agreed to try without nappies, she may also be ready for incentive schemes. A mark for every dry night and when she has 5 or whatever, she can get a prize of some sort (a trip to a favourite hang out is my favourite type of incentive). You can make the incentives more challenging as she becomes better at staying dry ie consecutive nights. You will be able to assess very quickly if incentive schemes are not for your daughter – they are not for every child. Some children get enough out of verbal praise and just knowing that they are mastering a new skill.
Relax – 85% to 90% of children are out of nappies by the time they are 5 to 6 years old.
Email your questions to sally@mumstheword.co.za.
From Black Marks to Gold Stars... for Cavendish Square. Thank you thank you thank you for finally putting automatic sliding doors on the main entrances to the parking area. Gone are the days of trying to hold the door open with one hand while pushing the pram through with the other, while some moron looks on as though getting great entertainment watching you struggle. Thank you Cavendish, now maybe one day you will put a "please give way to prams" outside all your lifts!!!
Hey it's nearly Christmans. Who needs black marks? :-)
Send your nominations to sally@mumstheword.co.za !
Quick Coffee Break: Stress relievers for mommies
1. Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
3. When someone says, "have a nice day," tell them you've made other plans.
4. Make a "thing to do" list of things you have already done.
5. Pay your electric bill in one cent pieces.
6. Drive to work in reverse.
7. Have your surname legally changed to "Your-Highness."
8. Pound your head repeatedly on a pile of lightly toasted Wonder bread.
9. Brush your teeth vigorously with cheese whiz.
10. Read the dictionary upside-down and look for secret messages.
11. Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
12. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
13. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
14. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing is wrong.
15. Start a "Rodents of North America collection."
16. Take ten dollars out of the offering plate at church and put in a note saying "You owe me, Lord."
17. Paint a picture entitled "My Brain the Forest."
18. Tape pictures of your boss to watermelons and launch them from high places.
19. Put a bag on your head and mark it "Closed for Remodeling."
20. Write your next memo in Pig Latin.
For more quick funnies, prose and pictures, see the Coffee Break on www.mumstheword.co.za - and keep them coming to sally@mumstheword.co.za!
Wow. The feedback on my sippy cup question was amazing! Thanks everyone! Well here are the results!
Top of the ratings was the Click's Vital Baby range. Reader Cheryse said that she wished she had found their products earlier: “really great durable stuff!” Kim also rated it highly, her only complaint being that the protective lid was not attached to the cup and could get lost. Janine said that you can shake the cup and hold it upside down and there are no leaks, however baby does have to suck quite hard to get the liquid out, while Madeleine also commented on the cup's durability, saying that “it has lasted through quite a few temper tantrums!”
Next up was the Nuby range. Estelle said that it is one of the best – particularly the one with the removable, changeable valve to regulate the flow: “T his one has stood the test of time. No leaks, no spills and they can withstand being dropped from a dizzying height.” Catherine also rated Nuby highly for being leak-proof, while Nadiema also commented on the durability, and Angie also said that hers takes a lot of abuse and still doesn't leak.
Nuk also featured on the list, with Angela saying that they don't leak or spill, and they now offer a new valve: “Perfect for the adventurous little toddler!” Jacqui's only concern was that she didn't know how to get her three year old to give it up!
A couple of in-house brands also rated highly and deserve a mention. Game makes a good leak-proof cup, according to Anne-Lise, and Junita recommends the Dischem sports bottle with the soft silicone teat. Ackermans also make a spout cup which Lisa uses – and I have in fact tried their straw sippy cup which worked really well, however after being thrown on the floor repeatedly the top is a bit loose – but at R15 a cup it's easy to replace!
Finally, other cups that got a mention were the British-made Anywayupcup, which according to Celeste doesn't leak and she knows you can get it from Babies R Us, and Elmarie said that the best ever cup was the Born Free brand, which both of her children use. Last but not least, Carla recommended the Advent, which has a round, flexible silicon type valve which does not leak and is easy to clean.
Well there you have it. Thanks to all of you who responded – I think it's great to have recommendations from other mums, hopefully I will get round to trying them all out!
Noticeboard: This is your space! Submit your comments, ideas or suggestions on anything you have seen or want to see in Mum's the Word. This is also a space to advertise child related products or services, be they your own or something interesting that you have seen or heard about. Email me your contributions and if I deem them suitable I will happily put them up!
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Winners! Congratulations to the following who won hampers from BabySense: Ronelia.Booysen, Saul Leeman, Warren Subjee, Theresa Aldum, Krithika Deepnarain, Yasmina Steyn, Angie Ginsberg and Carlene Arendse. And to the three winners of the Child Friendly Directory: Ursula Cosgrave, Florence Phillips and Colleen Wilson. |
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Mary Poppins in Cape Town are hosting a first aid course on 17 November 2007 from 9-3. Places limited! For more info contact Ilse at mpoppins@telkomsa.net. |
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Next issue: HOLIDAY ISSUE! Send comments to sally@mumstheword.co.za or post them on my Facebook Page (see top for more). Your comments on MTW would also be hugely appreciated! |
In Closing…
Whew this year has gone fast! I can't believe I'm already planning my Holiday Issue! Soon it will be 2008, and I will need lots more suggestions as to what you want from MTW in the new year! And of course contributions welcome, so if you have been bitten by the writing bug, get started and send them to me!
Until next time…
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Email sally@mumstheword.co.za with Subscribe to MTW in the subject line.